On Monday, a team of scientists from MIT reported incredible findings: 9 in 10 Residents of Dorchester are genetically related to the Wahlberg family. “Deep down, I always knew I had Marky Mark blood flowin through my veins,” said Dot resident Kyle Quinnly, who added he gets mistaken for a Wahlberg at least twice a year. “Does this mean I get some of their Wahlburgers … [Read more...] about Ancestry Study Reveals 91% Of Dorchester Residents Related To Wahlberg Family
the Boston accent
Man Drinking Cold Brew During Snowstorm Like Some Sort Of Ice Wizard
Beware: a New Englander is at their most powerful in these circumstances. Steal their shoveled parking spot with extra caution, or you might get frozen alive by their ice breath. … [Read more...] about Man Drinking Cold Brew During Snowstorm Like Some Sort Of Ice Wizard
Dunkin Donuts Celebrates Governor Baker With “Baker’s Dozen”: 13 Donuts Positioned Unproductively In Middle Of Box
QUINCY—To celebrate Governor Charlie Baker’s two terms as head of the Bay State, Dunkin’ Donuts announced today the release of the “Baker’s Dozen”—13 donuts squeezed right in the middle of the box, with none of them falling too far to the right and none of them falling too far to the left. When asked if having so many donuts stuffed square in the center would limit their … [Read more...] about Dunkin Donuts Celebrates Governor Baker With “Baker’s Dozen”: 13 Donuts Positioned Unproductively In Middle Of Box
Charlie Baker Announces He’s Quitting Politics To Try Out For Celtics
In a surprise conference today, 6’6 Charlie Baker revealed he will not seek re-election as Governor of Massachusetts and will instead pursue his lifelong dream of playing basketball on his beloved Boston Celtics. “This politics thing was fun while it lasted, but truthfully, it’s not my passion. Ball is life, and it’s time I finally pursue my real dreams—I used to play for … [Read more...] about Charlie Baker Announces He’s Quitting Politics To Try Out For Celtics
Failed GOP Candidate Scott Brown Sees Senator Leahy’s Retirement As Chance To Lose In New State
On Monday, Senator Patrick Leahy jolted Vermonters and Washington power brokers alike with his announcement of a plan to retire. With partisan control of the Senate at stake, Leahy’s announcement is drawing attention from serious politicians, as well as Scott Brown. “Wow, Vermont? I’ve never lost a race there before,” remarked Brown as he googled how to establish residency … [Read more...] about Failed GOP Candidate Scott Brown Sees Senator Leahy’s Retirement As Chance To Lose In New State