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Celtics Trade Two NBA Champions For An Unopened Labubu
Let’s hope they pull a secret one!
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Man Begrudgingly Orders Filet-O-Fish To Absolve His Catholic Guilt From Forgetting About Ash Wednesday
“When I walked outside this morning and saw all the ash smudges on people’s foreheads, I immediately felt a wave of guilt. Those nuns really drill that into you in Catholic school. Unfortunately the only way I know how to make Catholic guilt go away is to eat a…
Shelf Life Of Mayo Shorter Than Expected
Sometimes the headlines write themselves.
Donald Trump Selects Dave Portnoy As Director Of Responsible Gambling
“Dave is a reasonable guy. So reasonable. And responsible too. His taste in pizza and parlays is the best. He never misses and the great kids who voted for me look up to him. We’re lucky to have him,” said Trump about the decision. Portnoy could not be reached…
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