In an announcement sure to appease hurting Pats fans everywhere, Bill Belichick told reporters today that next season, the team will “most likely” bring back cheating to avoid another heartbreak season. “Suffering through a 47-17 loss to the Buffalo Bills can have a devastating impact on the mental and physical health of our fan base,” Belichick said. “You know me, I’m … [Read more...] about Belichick Promises To Resume Cheating In 2022 For Sake Of Patriots Fans
Sports
Mass. Residents Push State Reps To Ban Patriots Losses On Same Weekend As Snow Storm
FOXBORO, MA — Fed up residents across Massachusetts are hoping a tough weekend for both weather and the Patriots will help spark change in the Bay State. The “Snowbody Wins” bill, bill proposed Sunday night, could ban Patriots losses on the same weekend there’s a snowstorm. We spoke to William Fitzgerald of Taunton, who told our reporters he supports the bill. “I’ve … [Read more...] about Mass. Residents Push State Reps To Ban Patriots Losses On Same Weekend As Snow Storm
Charlie Baker Announces He’s Quitting Politics To Try Out For Celtics
In a surprise conference today, 6’6 Charlie Baker revealed he will not seek re-election as Governor of Massachusetts and will instead pursue his lifelong dream of playing basketball on his beloved Boston Celtics. “This politics thing was fun while it lasted, but truthfully, it’s not my passion. Ball is life, and it’s time I finally pursue my real dreams—I used to play for … [Read more...] about Charlie Baker Announces He’s Quitting Politics To Try Out For Celtics
‘OUR DYNASTY IS OFFICIALLY BACK!’ Proclaims Pats Nation After 4-Game Win Streak
FOXBOROUGH, MA – After Mac Jones threw 3 touchdown passes to lead the Patriots to a 45-7 victory over the Browns, Patriots fans all over New England proclaimed bragging rights to their newly confirmed football dynasty, who surely will never lose again. “Four in a row, baby! Gas up the Duck Boats!” yelled one fan outfitted head to toe in Patriots gear, standing on the hood of … [Read more...] about ‘OUR DYNASTY IS OFFICIALLY BACK!’ Proclaims Pats Nation After 4-Game Win Streak
Curt Schilling Pissed Aaron Rodgers Didn’t Seek Advice From Him Too
Posting on Parler, Boston baseball legend turned right wing instigator Curt Schilling decried that Aaron Rodgers sought Covid advice from podcast host Joe Rogan but not him. “I am deeply hurt by Aaron's actions,” said the former Red Sox star turned rabid conspiracy theorist. “He went to Joe Rogan for medical advice when I, a fellow athlete, have been just as accessible … [Read more...] about Curt Schilling Pissed Aaron Rodgers Didn’t Seek Advice From Him Too