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The Boston Accent

The Boston Accent

Wicked Serious Satire

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Maine Holding On To ‘Vacationland’ Title As If The Caribbean Doesn’t Exist

May 17, 2022 by danbookbinder

AUGUSTA, ME — Despite the countless other tourist spots around the globe more deserving of the title, Maine has once again declared itself “Vacationland.”  “For the 86th year, we are pleased to announce that we are the undisputed ‘Vacationland,’” said Lindsay Weber of the Maine Tourism Board (MTB). “Maine is a world-famous destination uniquely deserving of the title, … [Read more...] about Maine Holding On To ‘Vacationland’ Title As If The Caribbean Doesn’t Exist

Local Man Giving Directions Only Tells You Where Location Isn’t

May 14, 2022 by Matt McInerney

SEEKONK, Mass. — Donnie Kelley has been giving directions around these parts for years but, according to sources, never actually tells you where to go. One unlucky family recently had to learn the hard way. "Oh, so you're trying to get to the Shaws across the bridge from here, huh? Sure, I can help you get there. So what you're gonna wanna do is head down this street and … [Read more...] about Local Man Giving Directions Only Tells You Where Location Isn’t

With Massachusetts Legalizing Sports Betting, Rhode Island Economy Now Exclusively Based On Pizza Strips

May 1, 2022 by Matt McInerney

“I am proud to say that we believe this bill will become a model for responsible sports wagering in this country,” said Senate Ways and Means Chairman Michael Rodrigues. “It will also totally screw over Rhode Island, which has been a long-term goal of ours. And they really do deserve it for trying to remove the best part of a pizza and thinking they can get away with it.” … [Read more...] about With Massachusetts Legalizing Sports Betting, Rhode Island Economy Now Exclusively Based On Pizza Strips

Forecasters Warn We’re Probably Due For Another Ben Affleck Movie Any Day Now

April 30, 2022 by audreyvclark

NORTON, MA – Forecasters from the National Cinema Service have warned that we could be due for another Ben Affleck movie any day now. Residents are advised to take precautions to ensure the safety of their homes and streaming services. “The country has experienced multiple major Ben Affleck movies across the past twenty years,” said NCS scientist Dr. Vikesh Sharma, “Most of … [Read more...] about Forecasters Warn We’re Probably Due For Another Ben Affleck Movie Any Day Now

Brave Harvard Student Steps Out In Public Not Wearing Single Item Of Harvard Branded Clothing

April 5, 2022 by The Boston Accent

“Today I wanted to see what it felt like to just be treated like everyone else. So I put on my Golden Goose sneakers, grabbed my Hermès backpack, and left my Harvard pullover at home. Honestly, it’s been scary but sort of freeing.” Sources say the student eventually put on a Harvard hat she carries for emergencies after someone cut her in line at Tatte. … [Read more...] about Brave Harvard Student Steps Out In Public Not Wearing Single Item Of Harvard Branded Clothing

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Local Man Giving Directions Only Tells You Where Location Isn’t

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With Massachusetts Legalizing Sports Betting, Rhode Island Economy Now Exclusively Based On Pizza Strips

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Recent

  • Maine Holding On To ‘Vacationland’ Title As If The Caribbean Doesn’t Exist May 17, 2022
  • Boston Fans Prep For Back-To-Back Game 7s By Sacrificing A Referee To The Ghost Of Sam Adams May 14, 2022
  • Local Man Giving Directions Only Tells You Where Location Isn’t May 14, 2022
  • With Massachusetts Legalizing Sports Betting, Rhode Island Economy Now Exclusively Based On Pizza Strips May 1, 2022

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