The Boston Accent

Wicked Serious Satire

Local

Finally! All Performances Of Shakespeare On The Common To Be Translated Into ‘Bostonian English’

by

BOSTON—In a bid to reach a wider audience, The Commonwealth Shakespeare Company announced they will be translating all upcoming Much Ado About Nothing shows they host on the Common this summer into what they are calling “Bostonian English.” The theatre company will have trained staff on-hand to translate medieval English into this dialect so all locals will be able to follow … [Read more...] about Finally! All Performances Of Shakespeare On The Common To Be Translated Into ‘Bostonian English’

AC Unit Perched Precariously In Back Bay Brownstone Window Patiently Awaiting Chance To Crush Tourist

by

“I was haphazardly placed in a sidewalk-facing 2nd story window by my master for this exact purpose, I can feel it deep down in my freon,” said the bløødthirsty hardware. “One day I will smoosh one, and I hope they are from Wisconsin.” … [Read more...] about AC Unit Perched Precariously In Back Bay Brownstone Window Patiently Awaiting Chance To Crush Tourist

Williams Graduate Pretty Pretentious About Going To A ‘Little Ivy,’ Whatever That Means

by

For James Whitefield III, who graduated from Williams in May, going to a ‘Little Ivy’ is a pretty big deal. But to everyone outside his Boston Brahmin circle, it’s not actually a thing. “Actually, Williams routinely ranks as a top liberal arts college in the US News & World Report. We are like a mini Harvard or Yale, but us Ephs, as we like to call ourselves, are a rarer … [Read more...] about Williams Graduate Pretty Pretentious About Going To A ‘Little Ivy,’ Whatever That Means

MBTA Starts GoFundMe For Out Of Work Orange Line

by

BOSTON—In a show of desperation that finally matches the situation, MBTA officials are urging residents to donate anything they can to support the soon to be unemployed Orange Line. “Look: We know the Orange Line is not your favorite. It’s nobody’s favorite, actually. But that’s exactly why we need your charity to get the line back on its tracks,” read the MBTA’s post, which … [Read more...] about MBTA Starts GoFundMe For Out Of Work Orange Line