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The Boston Accent

The Boston Accent

Wicked Serious Satire

Culture

Touching Tribute: Revere Residents Leave Cherished Cigarette Butts In Sand To Keep Spirit Of Beach Alive

July 18, 2022 by Brisa Sylvestre

“Revere Beach is the oldest public beach in America, and there are some traditions you just don’t mess with when places have history,” explained Jo Lynn, putting out a Marlboro red in the sand right next to her sun-bleached Tommy Bahama chair. “My parents left their butts in this sand, their parents left their butts in this sand, and one day I hope my kids leave their butts in … [Read more...] about Touching Tribute: Revere Residents Leave Cherished Cigarette Butts In Sand To Keep Spirit Of Beach Alive

City Of Somerville Rocked By Something Genuinely Fun To Do

July 13, 2022 by The Boston Accent

SOMERVILLE, MA—Local residents were shocked to learn this week that something actually exciting—NICE, a fest—is taking place exclusively in Somerville July 28-31: Not in Cambridge, or Allston, or Fenway, but in Somerville. “Most of the time I head out to see friends or to a show, I gotta schlep to meet people like an hour away, since no one wants to visit me here for some … [Read more...] about City Of Somerville Rocked By Something Genuinely Fun To Do

Rival Turkey Gangs From Cambridge And Brookline Declare Thanksgiving Truce

November 24, 2021 by The Boston Accent

Leaders of the constantly at war turkey gangs the Brookline Byrdz and the Cambridge Clucks announced this evening a historic Thanksgiving ceasefire to commemorate fallen turkey brothers and sisters, our on the ground reporters confirmed. “We’ve lost too many bad Byrdz to this so called ‘holiday’,” said leader OG Snoody Pecks. “Today, we will set our differences aside and … [Read more...] about Rival Turkey Gangs From Cambridge And Brookline Declare Thanksgiving Truce

Recent College Graduate Mistakes Living In South Boston As A Personality

November 21, 2021 by Joe McCartney

SOUTH BOSTON — After leaving his 4 bedroom 1 bathroom apartment on L Street to visit his family in Lexington, MA, recent Providence College graduate Chaz Ludwig discovered he had nothing to talk about aside from his cool new neighborhood. “Living in Southie is sick,” Ludwig commented while scouring OpenTable for a brunch reservation at Lincoln Tavern. “I moved in with all my … [Read more...] about Recent College Graduate Mistakes Living In South Boston As A Personality

‘I Bleed Green!’ Says Celtics Fan With Pretty Serious Medical Condition

October 20, 2021 by Kevin Kelliher

Medical experts were baffled on Wednesday after local Celtics fan Brad Barry arrived at the ER literally bleeding green. “Tonight’s the first night of the season and I’m stuck at Mass General for some nothing nosebleed, this is total BS,” said Barry, dripping viridian blood all over his Marcus Smart jersey. “These brainiac doctors think I’m sick, but I keep telling them … [Read more...] about ‘I Bleed Green!’ Says Celtics Fan With Pretty Serious Medical Condition

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  • Finally! All Performances Of Shakespeare On The Common To Be Translated Into ‘Bostonian English’ August 9, 2022
  • AC Unit Perched Precariously In Back Bay Brownstone Window Patiently Awaiting Chance To Crush Tourist August 7, 2022
  • Williams Graduate Pretty Pretentious About Going To A ‘Little Ivy,’ Whatever That Means August 4, 2022
  • MBTA Starts GoFundMe For Out Of Work Orange Line August 3, 2022

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