• Skip to main content
  • Skip to primary sidebar
  • Skip to footer
  • Home
  • Top Stories
    • Local
    • National News
    • College
    • Sports
    • Culture
  • About
  • Contact
  • Support Us
  • New! Buy Merch
The Boston Accent

The Boston Accent

Wicked Serious Satire

Culture

Cape Cod Dad Shocked To Discover Paintings Can Depict Subjects Other Than Ships

February 20, 2021 by The Boston Accent

Lifelong Harwich resident Dan O’Hoolihan thought something was very wrong with his eight-year-old daughter when she brought home her first painting from school last week. "There is nothing seaworthy about a dinosaur princess,” said O’Hoolihan. “But when I called the school in a panic, they informed me that not all art is boat-related. Naturally, I was shocked—every piece of … [Read more...] about Cape Cod Dad Shocked To Discover Paintings Can Depict Subjects Other Than Ships

Man Missing Duck Boats Just Drives Into Boston Harbor Himself

February 10, 2021 by The Boston Accent

"Since the Pats aren't doing a Duck Boat parade this year, I decided I should drive my Honda CR-V into the Harbor in their honor. It's what they would have wanted.” … [Read more...] about Man Missing Duck Boats Just Drives Into Boston Harbor Himself

Opinion: Moxie Is Actually Delicious If You Enjoy The Taste Of Gasoline

February 6, 2021 by The Boston Accent

I love Moxie! It’s the best soda around. I also love the taste of premium unleaded BP gasoline. These two things are unrelated in my opinion. … [Read more...] about Opinion: Moxie Is Actually Delicious If You Enjoy The Taste Of Gasoline

MBTA Crew Devoured After Accidentally Wandering Into Underground Nest Of Dropkick Murphys

January 24, 2021 by Malt Schlitzman

BOSTON—Tragedy has struck as an entire team of Massachusetts Bay Transportation Authority workers were eaten alive after stumbling upon the underground nest of the band Dropkick Murphys. “We were lured into the lair by a faint sound of punk rock music. I’m pretty sure it was ‘Johnny I Hardly New Ya,’” recalled the lone survivor of the massacre. “The beat just kept … [Read more...] about MBTA Crew Devoured After Accidentally Wandering Into Underground Nest Of Dropkick Murphys

Rich Friend With Good Health Insurance Insists You Spend $200 To Throw Yourselves Down A Mountain Together

January 19, 2021 by The Boston Accent

“Skiing is absolutely worth the cost, it’s a blast! Plus, we can wear helmets and masks, so it’s totally safe,” said your friend, who already owns all the equipment you have to rent and has a fully-loaded HSA. … [Read more...] about Rich Friend With Good Health Insurance Insists You Spend $200 To Throw Yourselves Down A Mountain Together

Next Page »

Primary Sidebar

Follow Us

  • Facebook
  • Instagram
  • Twitter

The Latest

Top Tips For Seducing A Rich Harvard Student And Getting That Bread

February 14, 2021

Man Missing Duck Boats Just Drives Into Boston Harbor Himself

February 10, 2021

New England Buccaneers Win Super Bowl

February 7, 2021

Sports

In Latest Slight To Boston, Brady Announces He’s Now Starting Goalie For The Penguins

January 26, 2021

College

Legendary MIT Party Almost Hits Pod Limit

January 31, 2021

National

Jeff Bezos Purchases Nice, Quiet Retirement Country

February 3, 2021

Footer

About Us

The Boston Accent is New England’s best source of wicked serious news.

We publish satire (so don’t sue us) that might make you spit out your Dunkin’ and Boston cream donut all over Harvard Yard.

Want to pitch us? Send 5-10 headlines and a short bio here.

Recent

  • Cape Cod Dad Shocked To Discover Paintings Can Depict Subjects Other Than Ships February 20, 2021
  • Top Tips For Seducing A Rich Harvard Student And Getting That Bread February 14, 2021
  • Man Missing Duck Boats Just Drives Into Boston Harbor Himself February 10, 2021
  • New England Buccaneers Win Super Bowl February 7, 2021

Search

Follow Us!

  • Instagram
  • Facebook
  • Twitter

Copyright © 2021 The Boston Accent · Satire for the Massholes