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The Boston Accent

The Boston Accent

Wicked Serious Satire

Culture

Rival Turkey Gangs From Cambridge And Brookline Declare Thanksgiving Truce

November 24, 2021 by The Boston Accent

Leaders of the constantly at war turkey gangs the Brookline Byrdz and the Cambridge Clucks announced this evening a historic Thanksgiving ceasefire to commemorate fallen turkey brothers and sisters, our on the ground reporters confirmed. “We’ve lost too many bad Byrdz to this so called ‘holiday’,” said leader OG Snoody Pecks. “Today, we will set our differences aside and … [Read more...] about Rival Turkey Gangs From Cambridge And Brookline Declare Thanksgiving Truce

Recent College Graduate Mistakes Living In South Boston As A Personality

November 21, 2021 by Joe McCartney

SOUTH BOSTON — After leaving his 4 bedroom 1 bathroom apartment on L Street to visit his family in Lexington, MA, recent Providence College graduate Chaz Ludwig discovered he had nothing to talk about aside from his cool new neighborhood. “Living in Southie is sick,” Ludwig commented while scouring OpenTable for a brunch reservation at Lincoln Tavern. “I moved in with all my … [Read more...] about Recent College Graduate Mistakes Living In South Boston As A Personality

‘I Bleed Green!’ Says Celtics Fan With Pretty Serious Medical Condition

October 20, 2021 by Kevin Kelliher

Medical experts were baffled on Wednesday after local Celtics fan Brad Barry arrived at the ER literally bleeding green. “Tonight’s the first night of the season and I’m stuck at Mass General for some nothing nosebleed, this is total BS,” said Barry, dripping viridian blood all over his Marcus Smart jersey. “These brainiac doctors think I’m sick, but I keep telling them … [Read more...] about ‘I Bleed Green!’ Says Celtics Fan With Pretty Serious Medical Condition

We Rank The Top Zero Happy Hours In Massachusetts

October 10, 2021 by The Boston Accent

Check out our DEFINITIVE list of the best happy hour spots in the Bay State! 1. All done. Enjoy living in a state that’s apparently still run by Puritans! … [Read more...] about We Rank The Top Zero Happy Hours In Massachusetts

‘I Did A Cappella In College,’ Reports Friend Who Desperately Would Like You To Ask About It

October 5, 2021 by Rusty Epstein

CAMBRIDGE, Mass. — Chiming in almost instantaneously the moment the conversation turned to music, local late twenty-something Todd Goodwin confirmed that he did a cappella in college and, yes, would love to dive deeper into that topic. “Yeah, I was in the Tufts Beelzebubs — or the ‘Bubs,’ as we called it,” reported Goodwin to a crowd of completely uninterested acquaintances. … [Read more...] about ‘I Did A Cappella In College,’ Reports Friend Who Desperately Would Like You To Ask About It

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Recent

  • Maine Holding On To ‘Vacationland’ Title As If The Caribbean Doesn’t Exist May 17, 2022
  • Boston Fans Prep For Back-To-Back Game 7s By Sacrificing A Referee To The Ghost Of Sam Adams May 14, 2022
  • Local Man Giving Directions Only Tells You Where Location Isn’t May 14, 2022
  • With Massachusetts Legalizing Sports Betting, Rhode Island Economy Now Exclusively Based On Pizza Strips May 1, 2022

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