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The Boston Accent

The Boston Accent

Wicked Serious Satire

Top Stories

Masshole Meditation App Puts Users Through Guided Yelling Sessions

April 11, 2021 by The Boston Accent

This time last year, Bobby Sullivan didn’t know a lick of code, calmness, or Buddhist dharma teachings. He didn’t know much of anything, for that matter. Before last month, his most reliable source of stress relief was cursing out Yankees fans after drunken nights in Fenway.  But after punching countless holes in his condo’s drywall during the stressful pandemic … [Read more...] about Masshole Meditation App Puts Users Through Guided Yelling Sessions

Massachusetts Dad Overwhelmed By Nostalgia As Every Boston Sports Team Underperforms

April 6, 2021 by The Boston Accent

Medfield dad Douglas Stephens has been overcome by waves of nostalgia while watching his favorite Boston sports teams underperform, just as they did during the formative years of his life. “It’s just like my teenage years in the early 90s—I still fondly remember punching my TV,” reflected Stephens, wiping away a single tear as he turned off the most recent Red Sox … [Read more...] about Massachusetts Dad Overwhelmed By Nostalgia As Every Boston Sports Team Underperforms

Cod Dinner On Good Friday Tasked With Undoing Entire Year Of Catholic Guilt

April 2, 2021 by The Boston Accent

May your one ceremonial dinner cleanse your filthy soul. Photo credit: Pew … [Read more...] about Cod Dinner On Good Friday Tasked With Undoing Entire Year Of Catholic Guilt

Wow! Labor Secretary Marty Walsh Has Already Created Dozens Of New Dunkin’ Jobs In DC

March 30, 2021 by The Boston Accent

He may have been confirmed as Labor Secretary just a week ago, but Marty Walsh is wasting no time increasing employment in his new city. Amazingly, he’s already DOUBLED the staff at the Dunkin’ closest to his DC office! “This guy must drink like 20 iced coffees a day, he’s in here every hour and always ordering complicated stuff I didn’t even know we made. I can barely keep … [Read more...] about Wow! Labor Secretary Marty Walsh Has Already Created Dozens Of New Dunkin’ Jobs In DC

Cape Cod Resident Surprised To Hear Shrimp Tails Aren’t Commonly Found In All Breakfast Cereals

March 27, 2021 by The Boston Accent

“In Harwich, we eat our oats with roe and use crab legs as spoons. I thought everyone ate seafood parts in every meal?” … [Read more...] about Cape Cod Resident Surprised To Hear Shrimp Tails Aren’t Commonly Found In All Breakfast Cereals

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Massachusetts Dad Overwhelmed By Nostalgia As Every Boston Sports Team Underperforms

April 6, 2021

Cod Dinner On Good Friday Tasked With Undoing Entire Year Of Catholic Guilt

April 2, 2021

Wow! Labor Secretary Marty Walsh Has Already Created Dozens Of New Dunkin’ Jobs In DC

March 30, 2021

Sports

Lebron James Buys Stake In Red Sox After Owning Celtics For Years

March 16, 2021

College

Top Tips For Seducing A Rich Harvard Student And Getting That Bread

February 14, 2021

National

Heartwarming: Senator Sinema Pays Homage To Her Hero Emperor Commodus From Gladiator In Vote Against $15 Minimum Wage

March 6, 2021

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  • Masshole Meditation App Puts Users Through Guided Yelling Sessions April 11, 2021
  • Massachusetts Dad Overwhelmed By Nostalgia As Every Boston Sports Team Underperforms April 6, 2021
  • Cod Dinner On Good Friday Tasked With Undoing Entire Year Of Catholic Guilt April 2, 2021
  • Wow! Labor Secretary Marty Walsh Has Already Created Dozens Of New Dunkin’ Jobs In DC March 30, 2021

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