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The Boston Accent

The Boston Accent

Wicked Serious Satire

College

Williams Graduate Pretty Pretentious About Going To A ‘Little Ivy,’ Whatever That Means

August 4, 2022 by danbookbinder

For James Whitefield III, who graduated from Williams in May, going to a ‘Little Ivy’ is a pretty big deal. But to everyone outside his Boston Brahmin circle, it’s not actually a thing. “Actually, Williams routinely ranks as a top liberal arts college in the US News & World Report. We are like a mini Harvard or Yale, but us Ephs, as we like to call ourselves, are a rarer … [Read more...] about Williams Graduate Pretty Pretentious About Going To A ‘Little Ivy,’ Whatever That Means

Brave Harvard Student Steps Out In Public Not Wearing Single Item Of Harvard Branded Clothing

April 5, 2022 by The Boston Accent

“Today I wanted to see what it felt like to just be treated like everyone else. So I put on my Golden Goose sneakers, grabbed my Hermès backpack, and left my Harvard pullover at home. Honestly, it’s been scary but sort of freeing.” Sources say the student eventually put on a Harvard hat she carries for emergencies after someone cut her in line at Tatte. … [Read more...] about Brave Harvard Student Steps Out In Public Not Wearing Single Item Of Harvard Branded Clothing

Help! I Went To A Crazy MIT Party And Now I’m Stuck In The Metaverse

March 12, 2022 by The Boston Accent

Please, I'm begging you…. I don't know what the hell I smoked but now I'm trapped here. It’s just empty work spaces, framed NFTs, and some nerdy looking avatars talking about made up units called smoots! … [Read more...] about Help! I Went To A Crazy MIT Party And Now I’m Stuck In The Metaverse

Brown University Drops Out Of Ivy League To Pursue Career In Photography

February 11, 2022 by The Boston Accent

In news sure to shock the stuffy world of elite academia, Brown University announced today their intention to drop out of the Ivy League and instead pursue their true passion of photography. “I’ve pretended to be something I’m not since 1764, and it’s about time I chase my real dreams—I’m not getting any younger after all,” said the centuries old institution of higher … [Read more...] about Brown University Drops Out Of Ivy League To Pursue Career In Photography

Interest In Attending University of Vermont Still Best Way To Find Out If Your Kid Smokes Weed

January 1, 2022 by The Boston Accent

Since 1791, parents have relied on their teen’s stated interest in going to UVM for college as a proxy to tell if they smoke weed. A new study has confirmed that in 2021, an application to UVM was more predictive that your kid blows mad tree than any other factor, including them saying “I literally smoke weed all the time.” “When my little Tommy told us he heard … [Read more...] about Interest In Attending University of Vermont Still Best Way To Find Out If Your Kid Smokes Weed

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  • Finally! All Performances Of Shakespeare On The Common To Be Translated Into ‘Bostonian English’ August 9, 2022
  • AC Unit Perched Precariously In Back Bay Brownstone Window Patiently Awaiting Chance To Crush Tourist August 7, 2022
  • Williams Graduate Pretty Pretentious About Going To A ‘Little Ivy,’ Whatever That Means August 4, 2022
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