In a move experts are calling “totally weird but kind of necessary,” Tufts University announced this week that they will be purchasing every first year student a Pornhub Premium account, intended to “keep them occupied for a while” so they don’t party.
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“I picked Northeastern because of the diversity of the student body. There are students from all 50 states on campus, so I really look forward to experiencing 50 unique strains of COVID in the next few weeks,” said Kriti Agarwal, a freshman from New Jersey. From contributor Alice H. Lahoda. Check out Alice on Medium, Twitter, and Instagram Image Copyright:
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To make sure online-only students don’t miss out on the experience of humble bragging about going to Harvard, the university released guidance for students looking for new ways to fake humility about their school in conversation.
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In anticipation of the September 1st moving day that plagues Boston each year, U-Haul announced it will introduce convertible moving trucks designed for use along Storrow Drive.
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“We’re just as surprised as everyone else,” said Bentley’s dean of students, who admits she fully expected the school to go under by now.
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The 31-year-old , who was laid off from his decade long unpaid internship due to the coronavirus pandemic, says he’s excited to graduate into a recession just like his classmates did in 2010.
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“I was really hoping for a lighter sentence, maybe at an upstate institution like Cornell.”
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