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The Boston Accent

The Boston Accent

New England’s Source For Wicked Serious News

Harvard

Legendary MIT Party Almost Hits Pod Limit

January 31, 2021 by Jack Stebbins

CAMBRIDGE, MA — A party last night at the Massachusetts Institute of Technology achieved legendary status after nearly approaching the school’s COVID-19 gathering restriction of 10 people. The soiree is the university’s largest since mathematicians proved the Poincare Conjecture in 2010. “I’ve never seen anything like it. It was what I imagine Coachella being like,” said … [Read more...] about Legendary MIT Party Almost Hits Pod Limit

Diversity Win! This Harvard Undergrad Doesn’t Even Have A Trust Fund

November 14, 2020 by The Boston Accent

Wow! Harvard really is an inclusive institution. According to reports, the prestigious university in Cambridge apparently let in at least one student who does not have a 7-figure trust fund. “This is really a historic first for us,” said Harvard President Larry Bacow. “The student’s parents are not even partners at a law or private equity firm! We are really breaking … [Read more...] about Diversity Win! This Harvard Undergrad Doesn’t Even Have A Trust Fund

I Pahked My Cah In Hahvid Yahd And Now I Have A $1,500 Parking Violation From The City Of Cambridge

August 24, 2020 by Bailey Hull

Parking Violation

“I knew pahkin my cah in Hahvid Yahd was wicked hahd, but I never thought I’d have to appear in person at the Cambridge District Courthouse because of it.” Written by contributor Bailey Hull. Check out Bailey on Instagram @ceoofspatulas … [Read more...] about I Pahked My Cah In Hahvid Yahd And Now I Have A $1,500 Parking Violation From The City Of Cambridge

School “Just Outside Boston” Now “Just Inside Internet”

August 18, 2020 by The Boston Accent

Harvard Online

Due to the ongoing pandemic, the elite institution located “just outside of Boston” can now be found “just inside the Internet.” To make sure online-only students don’t miss out on the experience of humble bragging about going to Harvard, the university released guidance for students looking for new ways to fake humility about their school in conversation.  “There are … [Read more...] about School “Just Outside Boston” Now “Just Inside Internet”

Harsh! Harvard Reject Sentenced To Four Years At Tufts

July 29, 2020 by The Boston Accent

“I was really hoping for a lighter sentence, maybe at an upstate institution like Cornell,” said Jason Delano, whose only crime was getting a 3 on his AP chemistry exam. “Hopefully they will let me out early for good behavior.” … [Read more...] about Harsh! Harvard Reject Sentenced To Four Years At Tufts

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  • Brown University Student Who Hasn’t Left East Side Of Providence Proud To Go To School In City June 1, 2023
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