Ever wanted to wed a wealthy Cantabrigian and inherit their family’s fortune? Who hasn’t! Unfortunately, courting an Ivy League suitor is harder than it may seem—especially if you don’t go to, ahem, a small school just outside of Boston. But fear not! Here are some tried and true tips that will help you seduce the rich Harvard student of your parent’s dreams. Mention you … [Read more...] about Top Tips For Seducing A Rich Harvard Student And Getting That Bread
Harvard
Legendary MIT Party Almost Hits Pod Limit
CAMBRIDGE, MA — A party last night at the Massachusetts Institute of Technology achieved legendary status after nearly approaching the school’s COVID-19 gathering restriction of 10 people. The soiree is the university’s largest since mathematicians proved the Poincare Conjecture in 2010. “I’ve never seen anything like it. It was what I imagine Coachella being like,” said … [Read more...] about Legendary MIT Party Almost Hits Pod Limit
Diversity Win! This Harvard Undergrad Doesn’t Even Have A Trust Fund
Wow! Harvard really is an inclusive institution. According to reports, the prestigious university in Cambridge apparently let in at least one student who does not have a 7-figure trust fund. “This is really a historic first for us,” said Harvard President Larry Bacow. “The student’s parents are not even partners at a law or private equity firm! We are really breaking … [Read more...] about Diversity Win! This Harvard Undergrad Doesn’t Even Have A Trust Fund
I Pahked My Cah In Hahvid Yahd And Now I Have A $1,500 Parking Violation From The City Of Cambridge
“I knew pahkin my cah in Hahvid Yahd was wicked hahd, but I never thought I’d have to appear in person at the Cambridge District Courthouse because of it.” Written by contributor Bailey Hull. Check out Bailey on Instagram @ceoofspatulas … [Read more...] about I Pahked My Cah In Hahvid Yahd And Now I Have A $1,500 Parking Violation From The City Of Cambridge
School “Just Outside Boston” Now “Just Inside Internet”
Due to the ongoing pandemic, the elite institution located “just outside of Boston” can now be found “just inside the Internet.” To make sure online-only students don’t miss out on the experience of humble bragging about going to Harvard, the university released guidance for students looking for new ways to fake humility about their school in conversation. “There are … [Read more...] about School “Just Outside Boston” Now “Just Inside Internet”