The Boston Accent

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Harvard

High School Senior Excited To Tour Harvard, MIT, 34 Boston Area Safety Schools

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“There are so many great schools in and around Boston that I would love to end up at,” said local salutatorian Renee Gomez. “Harvard, MIT, the other ones, they’re all really good options that I’m fully considering equally! School fit matters more than anything else, if you ask me.” At press time, Gomez was seen skipping her scheduled tour of Bentley University while posing … [Read more...] about High School Senior Excited To Tour Harvard, MIT, 34 Boston Area Safety Schools

Top Tips For Seducing A Rich Harvard Student And Getting That Bread

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Ever wanted to wed a wealthy Cantabrigian and inherit their family’s fortune? Who hasn’t! Unfortunately, courting an Ivy League suitor is harder than it may seem—especially if you don’t go to, ahem, a small school just outside of Boston. But fear not! Here are some tried and true tips that will help you seduce the rich Harvard student of your parent’s dreams. Mention you … [Read more...] about Top Tips For Seducing A Rich Harvard Student And Getting That Bread

Legendary MIT Party Almost Hits Pod Limit

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CAMBRIDGE, MA — A party last night at the Massachusetts Institute of Technology achieved legendary status after nearly approaching the school’s COVID-19 gathering restriction of 10 people. The soiree is the university’s largest since mathematicians proved the Poincare Conjecture in 2010. “I’ve never seen anything like it. It was what I imagine Coachella being like,” said … [Read more...] about Legendary MIT Party Almost Hits Pod Limit

Diversity Win! This Harvard Undergrad Doesn’t Even Have A Trust Fund

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Wow! Harvard really is an inclusive institution. According to reports, the prestigious university in Cambridge apparently let in at least one student who does not have a 7-figure trust fund. “This is really a historic first for us,” said Harvard President Larry Bacow. “The student’s parents are not even partners at a law or private equity firm! We are really breaking … [Read more...] about Diversity Win! This Harvard Undergrad Doesn’t Even Have A Trust Fund