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The Boston Accent

The Boston Accent

New England’s Source For Wicked Serious News

Bailey Hull

Dad Takes Christmas Tree Out Back For Mercy Killing

December 28, 2020 by Bailey Hull

“You’re gonna go to a nice, quiet farm upstate with all the other big spruces,” whispered local father Greg Hernandez to the tree while revving a chainsaw. … [Read more...] about Dad Takes Christmas Tree Out Back For Mercy Killing

Boston Hastily Throws Gift Card And Socks Into Bag In Return For Nova Scotia’s Gifted Christmas Tree

December 24, 2020 by Bailey Hull

In a frantic gesture of goodwill, Boston has collectively thrown together a gift card and some nice socks to thank Nova Scotia for the annual Christmas Tree they send the city. “Nova Scotia has gifted Boston a massive white spruce Christmas tree every year since the 1940’s to thank our city for sending vital supplies and medical assistance after the 1917 Halifax Explosion, … [Read more...] about Boston Hastily Throws Gift Card And Socks Into Bag In Return For Nova Scotia’s Gifted Christmas Tree

$600 Stimulus Check Covers Rent For 3 Square Inches Of Cambridgeport Apartment

December 22, 2020 by Bailey Hull

CAMBRIDGEPORT — In a massive win for tenants, the recent $600 COVID-19 stimulus check approved by the House and Senate will officially cover a few weeks rent for 3 whole square inches of a Cambridgeport studio apartment. “After losing my job in May, I wasn’t sure how I was going to afford my egregious rent,” said Cambridgeport tenant Maggie Wong. “But thankfully, Congress … [Read more...] about $600 Stimulus Check Covers Rent For 3 Square Inches Of Cambridgeport Apartment

Merriam-Webster Adds ‘Mediumregulariced’ To Dictionary

September 29, 2020 by Bailey Hull

black and white book browse dictionary

Thanks to a petition signed by 4 million New England residents, Merriam-Webster will officially add "Mediumregulariced” to their dictionary on national coffee day. “This is a monumental achievement for New Englanders everywhere,” said Carrie Meisner, a spokesperson for the dictionary company who lives in Portsmouth, New Hampshire. “What could be more representative of our … [Read more...] about Merriam-Webster Adds ‘Mediumregulariced’ To Dictionary

Friend Assures You Visiting New Hampshire Will Actually Be Fun This Time

September 21, 2020 by Bailey Hull

DEDHAM, MA - In a horrifying display of short-term memory, your dumbass friend has assured you a trip to New Hampshire will totally be fun this time around. “Come on, it’ll be great! We can do a few nights of camping in the White Mountains,” said the imbecile, seemingly forgetting about how you almost drowned in the Saco River after a failed canoe expedition last time you … [Read more...] about Friend Assures You Visiting New Hampshire Will Actually Be Fun This Time

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  • Family Mandates That Thanksgiving Dinner Discussion Will Exclusively Cover The Bruins November 22, 2023
  • Patriots Lose To Bye Week After Late Comeback Falls Short November 19, 2023
  • ‘Tis The Season! Households Across New England Replace Terrifying Patriots Decor With Cheery Celtics Gear November 5, 2023
  • Salem Residents Brace For Invasion Of Disney Adults October 3, 2023

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