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The Boston Accent

The Boston Accent

Wicked Serious Satire

Jack Stebbins

Allston Christmas Grinch Takes All The Good Presents For Himself

September 1, 2021 by Jack Stebbins

A local Ebenezer Scrooge was recently spotted ruining Allston Christmas by stealing all the best street gifts using a large green truck. “I saw him take a totally decent, formerly-white couch and just drive off,” stated one shaken onlooker. “He took stuff from literally every house. What a greedy jerk.” The thief, who called himself “the garbageman,” was seen taking his … [Read more...] about Allston Christmas Grinch Takes All The Good Presents For Himself

“Free Solo” Sequel To Star 2002 Prius That Scaled Mt. Washington

May 16, 2021 by Jack Stebbins

National Geographic announced today that the sequel to the critically acclaimed climbing film “Free Solo” will feature the thrilling story of a 2002 Prius summiting the legendary Mt. Washington without any assistance. The movie will showcase real, often terrifying footage from the dramatic climb. “A brave hand-me-down Prius takes on harsh paved and gravel roads that no … [Read more...] about “Free Solo” Sequel To Star 2002 Prius That Scaled Mt. Washington

Lebron James Buys Stake In Red Sox After Owning Celtics For Years

March 16, 2021 by Jack Stebbins

As the most recent investor in the Fenway Sports Group, which owns the Red Sox, James expanded his ownership of Boston sports teams—after a decade of absolutely owning the Celtics at TD Garden. … [Read more...] about Lebron James Buys Stake In Red Sox After Owning Celtics For Years

Man Missing Duck Boats Just Drives Into Boston Harbor Himself

February 10, 2021 by Jack Stebbins

"Since the Pats aren't doing a Duck Boat parade this year, I decided I should drive my Honda CR-V into the Harbor in their honor. It's what they would have wanted.” … [Read more...] about Man Missing Duck Boats Just Drives Into Boston Harbor Himself

Legendary MIT Party Almost Hits Pod Limit

January 31, 2021 by Jack Stebbins

CAMBRIDGE, MA — A party last night at the Massachusetts Institute of Technology achieved legendary status after nearly approaching the school’s COVID-19 gathering restriction of 10 people. The soiree is the university’s largest since mathematicians proved the Poincare Conjecture in 2010. “I’ve never seen anything like it. It was what I imagine Coachella being like,” said … [Read more...] about Legendary MIT Party Almost Hits Pod Limit

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  • Susan Collins: ‘I’m Just As Shocked As You Are!’ June 24, 2022
  • A Touching Father’s Day: New England Dad Tells Son He’s Less Of A Disappointment Than Celtics Losing Finals June 19, 2022
  • Worcester Crowned The ‘Is Pepsi Okay?’ City Of Massachusetts June 16, 2022
  • We Asked Brookline Residents If They’re Excited To Host The US Open And They Told Us To Get Off Their Grass June 15, 2022

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