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The Boston Accent

The Boston Accent

Wicked Serious Satire

cape cod

Now That Summer’s Over, Man Realizes Friend With Boat Actually Kind Of A Dick

October 17, 2020 by Kevin Kelliher Leave a Comment

With warm weather behind us, Fred Smith of Harwich is in hot water, as his friends have started to remember he’s actually a total tool. “Now that it’s too cold for him to take us out on his boat every weekend, I’m honestly not sure what he’s bringing to the friend group,” says Andrew Grant, a seasonal buddy of Smith’s. “All he ever talks about is his high school hockey … [Read more...] about Now That Summer’s Over, Man Realizes Friend With Boat Actually Kind Of A Dick

Man Starts Family, Builds House, Retires All While Sitting In Labor Day Cape Traffic

September 7, 2020 by Bailey Hull

Now 92 years old, the man finally reached Provincetown this morning, only to die of old age by afternoon. Headline by contributor Bailey Hull … [Read more...] about Man Starts Family, Builds House, Retires All While Sitting In Labor Day Cape Traffic

Citing Health Concerns, Sharks Of Cape Cod Announce Ban On Eating Humans

July 23, 2020 by The Boston Accent

“Yeah, we’re gonna pass on eating you this year,” said shark commissioner Larry Bytes, wearing a mask as he spoke to human reporters. We’ll stick to eating safe things, like seals and pieces of plastic.” … [Read more...] about Citing Health Concerns, Sharks Of Cape Cod Announce Ban On Eating Humans

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  • Bernie Sanders Entirely Unaware Of Meme Status Because His Jitterbug Flip Phone Has No Internet In Vermont January 21, 2021
  • Rich Friend With Good Health Insurance Insists You Spend $200 To Throw Yourselves Down A Mountain Together January 19, 2021
  • Opinion: If Bugs Bunny Is From Brooklyn, Then We Demand A Looney Tune From Everett January 17, 2021
  • Great Molasses Flood Of 1919 Finally Reaches Downtown Boston January 16, 2021

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