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The Boston Accent

The Boston Accent

New England’s Source For Wicked Serious News

cape cod

Boat Shoes Magically Appear On Man’s Feet As He Crosses Bourne Bridge To Cape

June 4, 2022 by The Boston Accent

BOURNE, MA – In a Cape Cod miracle, on Saturday a Boston man was magically adorned with Sperry boat shoes as soon as he crossed the Bourne Bridge. Todd Walters was driving over the bridge in his red Jeep Wrangler while listening to Hootie & The Blowfish when he noticed the shoes spontaneously appear on his feet.  “I was in my flip flops because I hadn’t gotten … [Read more...] about Boat Shoes Magically Appear On Man’s Feet As He Crosses Bourne Bridge To Cape

Cape Cod Dad Shocked To Discover Paintings Can Depict Subjects Other Than Ships

February 20, 2021 by Mary Colussi

Lifelong Harwich resident Dan O’Hoolihan thought something was very wrong with his eight-year-old daughter when she brought home her first painting from school last week. "There is nothing seaworthy about a dinosaur princess,” said O’Hoolihan. “But when I called the school in a panic, they informed me that not all art is boat-related. Naturally, I was shocked—every piece of … [Read more...] about Cape Cod Dad Shocked To Discover Paintings Can Depict Subjects Other Than Ships

Now That Summer’s Over, Man Realizes Friend With Boat Actually Kind Of A Dick

October 17, 2020 by Kevin Kelliher Leave a Comment

With warm weather behind us, Fred Smith of Harwich is in hot water, as his friends have started to remember he’s actually a total tool. “Now that it’s too cold for him to take us out on his boat every weekend, I’m honestly not sure what he’s bringing to the friend group,” says Andrew Grant, a seasonal buddy of Smith’s. “All he ever talks about is his high school hockey … [Read more...] about Now That Summer’s Over, Man Realizes Friend With Boat Actually Kind Of A Dick

Man Starts Family, Builds House, Retires All While Sitting In Labor Day Cape Traffic

September 7, 2020 by Bailey Hull

Now 92 years old, the man finally reached Provincetown this morning, only to die of old age by afternoon. Headline by contributor Bailey Hull … [Read more...] about Man Starts Family, Builds House, Retires All While Sitting In Labor Day Cape Traffic

Citing Health Concerns, Sharks Of Cape Cod Announce Ban On Eating Humans

July 23, 2020 by The Boston Accent

“Yeah, we’re gonna pass on eating you this year,” said shark commissioner Larry Bytes, wearing a mask as he spoke to human reporters. We’ll stick to eating safe things, like seals and pieces of plastic.” … [Read more...] about Citing Health Concerns, Sharks Of Cape Cod Announce Ban On Eating Humans

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  • US Office Of Weights And Measures Declares Rhode Island As The Official Unit For Measuring California Wildfires May 29, 2023
  • Thousands Of RISD Students Unable To Improve Upon Big Blue Bug May 29, 2023
  • Shocking: Celtics Return Home From Florida Instead Of Going There To Die Like Most New Englanders May 24, 2023
  • Hingham Woman Never Thought She Had An Accent Until She Tried Speech-To-Text May 17, 2023

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