Lifelong Harwich resident Dan O’Hoolihan thought something was very wrong with his eight-year-old daughter when she brought home her first painting from school last week. "There is nothing seaworthy about a dinosaur princess,” said O’Hoolihan. “But when I called the school in a panic, they informed me that not all art is boat-related. Naturally, I was shocked—every piece of … [Read more...] about Cape Cod Dad Shocked To Discover Paintings Can Depict Subjects Other Than Ships
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Now That Summer’s Over, Man Realizes Friend With Boat Actually Kind Of A Dick
With warm weather behind us, Fred Smith of Harwich is in hot water, as his friends have started to remember he’s actually a total tool. “Now that it’s too cold for him to take us out on his boat every weekend, I’m honestly not sure what he’s bringing to the friend group,” says Andrew Grant, a seasonal buddy of Smith’s. “All he ever talks about is his high school hockey … [Read more...] about Now That Summer’s Over, Man Realizes Friend With Boat Actually Kind Of A Dick
Man Starts Family, Builds House, Retires All While Sitting In Labor Day Cape Traffic
Now 92 years old, the man finally reached Provincetown this morning, only to die of old age by afternoon. Headline by contributor Bailey Hull … [Read more...] about Man Starts Family, Builds House, Retires All While Sitting In Labor Day Cape Traffic
Citing Health Concerns, Sharks Of Cape Cod Announce Ban On Eating Humans
“Yeah, we’re gonna pass on eating you this year,” said shark commissioner Larry Bytes, wearing a mask as he spoke to human reporters. We’ll stick to eating safe things, like seals and pieces of plastic.” … [Read more...] about Citing Health Concerns, Sharks Of Cape Cod Announce Ban On Eating Humans