Medical experts were baffled on Wednesday after local Celtics fan Brad Barry arrived at the ER literally bleeding green. “Tonight’s the first night of the season and I’m stuck at Mass General for some nothing nosebleed, this is total BS,” said Barry, dripping viridian blood all over his Marcus Smart jersey. “These brainiac doctors think I’m sick, but I keep telling them … [Read more...] about ‘I Bleed Green!’ Says Celtics Fan With Pretty Serious Medical Condition
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Suffolk University Tour Guide Tries His Hardest Not To Let Visitors Catch Glimpse Of Other Better Schools
“It’s really hard to keep a group focused on our school when there are like 10 other better ones that are visible at any given time on our tour,” sighed exasperated Suffolk tour guide Andrew Fields. “One wrong turn and ‘Boom!’ They see Emerson. Or we accidentally walk by Tufts medical school without me even realizing it. Not to mention most of the time our tour attendees took … [Read more...] about Suffolk University Tour Guide Tries His Hardest Not To Let Visitors Catch Glimpse Of Other Better Schools
Not To Be Outdone By Chicago, Boston Dyes Marty Walsh Green For Saint Patrick’s Day
In response to the annual dyeing of the Chicago River, Boston has one-upped the Windy City by turning Mayor Marty Walsh green. “We thought it was about time to develop our own green tradition, and I happened to have a bunch of food coloring left over from my niece’s rainbow themed birthday party,” said the shamrock colored mayor. “I honestly kinda like it—makes me feel like … [Read more...] about Not To Be Outdone By Chicago, Boston Dyes Marty Walsh Green For Saint Patrick’s Day
New England Buccaneers Win Super Bowl
The New England Buccaneers defeated the Kansas City Chiefs in the Super Bowl atop the shoulders of Tom Brady, Rob Gronkowski, Antonio Brown, and other lesser important players that didn’t come from the Patriots. “WE WON THE SUPERBOWL!” Yelled fans all over New England. “And if you squinted hard enough, it looked like they were wearing Pats ‘Away’ jerseys too. Another banner … [Read more...] about New England Buccaneers Win Super Bowl
Anti-Masker Decides This The Hill He, His Grandparents, And Dozens Of Strangers With Compromised Immune Systems Will Die On
“Wearing a mask is an individual choice that I am willing to sacrifice my life for,” added the man, who will also inadvertently be sacrificing the lives of countless others with his misguided patriotism. “I’m brave like that.” … [Read more...] about Anti-Masker Decides This The Hill He, His Grandparents, And Dozens Of Strangers With Compromised Immune Systems Will Die On