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The Boston Accent

The Boston Accent

Wicked Serious Satire

Kevin Kelliher

About Kevin Kelliher

Anti-Masker Decides This The Hill He, His Grandparents, And Dozens Of Strangers With Compromised Immune Systems Will Die On

December 4, 2020 by Kevin Kelliher

“Wearing a mask is an individual choice that I am willing to sacrifice my life for,” added the man, who will also inadvertently be sacrificing the lives of countless others with his misguided patriotism. “I’m brave like that.” … [Read more...] about Anti-Masker Decides This The Hill He, His Grandparents, And Dozens Of Strangers With Compromised Immune Systems Will Die On

Now That Pats Suck, Local Man Has No Choice But To Get To Know Family

November 1, 2020 by Kevin Kelliher

With the New England Patriots recording their worst season in nearly 20 years, local Braintree man Mikey Brown has surprisingly found himself getting to know his family. “The Pats have just been good for so long that I haven’t had a lazy Sunday in years. Now I’m looking around and realizing I should probably get to know my kids,” he added. Brown’s children, ages 5 and 9, … [Read more...] about Now That Pats Suck, Local Man Has No Choice But To Get To Know Family

Now That Summer’s Over, Man Realizes Friend With Boat Actually Kind Of A Dick

October 17, 2020 by Kevin Kelliher Leave a Comment

With warm weather behind us, Fred Smith of Harwich is in hot water, as his friends have started to remember he’s actually a total tool. “Now that it’s too cold for him to take us out on his boat every weekend, I’m honestly not sure what he’s bringing to the friend group,” says Andrew Grant, a seasonal buddy of Smith’s. “All he ever talks about is his high school hockey … [Read more...] about Now That Summer’s Over, Man Realizes Friend With Boat Actually Kind Of A Dick

‘I Bleed Green!’ Says Celtics Fan With Pretty Serious Medical Condition

September 25, 2020 by Kevin Kelliher

Medical experts were baffled on Wednesday after local Celtics fan Brad Barry arrived at the ER literally bleeding green. Barry, a self-proclaimed “wicked big Celtics fan,” appeared to have cut his face after trying to drink from a broken bottle of Sam Adams following the Celtics’ tragic loss earlier in the evening. “These brainiac doctors think I’m sick , but I keep … [Read more...] about ‘I Bleed Green!’ Says Celtics Fan With Pretty Serious Medical Condition

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  • Trump Just One Impeachment Away From A Free Frozen Yogurt January 13, 2021
  • Mark Wahlberg Begs To Get Medal Of Freedom In Belichick’s Place January 12, 2021
  • Man Who Hasn’t Washed Mask Since August Confused Where This Rash Came From January 10, 2021
  • Capitol Police Invest Billions In Anti-Door-Opening Technology January 8, 2021

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