CAMBRIDGE, MA — A party last night at the Massachusetts Institute of Technology achieved legendary status after nearly approaching the school’s COVID-19 gathering restriction of 10 people. The soiree is the university’s largest since mathematicians proved the Poincare Conjecture in 2010. “I’ve never seen anything like it. It was what I imagine Coachella being like,” said … [Read more...] about Legendary MIT Party Almost Hits Pod Limit
Boston satire
MBTA Crew Devoured After Accidentally Wandering Into Underground Nest Of Dropkick Murphys
BOSTON—Tragedy has struck as an entire team of Massachusetts Bay Transportation Authority workers were eaten alive after stumbling upon the underground nest of the band Dropkick Murphys. “We were lured into the lair by a faint sound of punk rock music. I’m pretty sure it was ‘Johnny I Hardly New Ya,’” recalled the lone survivor of the massacre. “The beat just kept … [Read more...] about MBTA Crew Devoured After Accidentally Wandering Into Underground Nest Of Dropkick Murphys
Bernie Sanders Entirely Unaware Of Meme Status Because His Jitterbug Flip Phone Has No Internet In Vermont
When his grandson tried calling to explain the meme over the phone, Sanders accidentally hung up repeatedly because his now-iconic mittens pressed like every button. … [Read more...] about Bernie Sanders Entirely Unaware Of Meme Status Because His Jitterbug Flip Phone Has No Internet In Vermont
Rich Friend With Good Health Insurance Insists You Spend $200 To Throw Yourselves Down A Mountain Together
“Skiing is absolutely worth the cost, it’s a blast! Plus, we can wear helmets and masks, so it’s totally safe,” said your friend, who already owns all the equipment you have to rent and has a fully-loaded HSA. … [Read more...] about Rich Friend With Good Health Insurance Insists You Spend $200 To Throw Yourselves Down A Mountain Together
Great Molasses Flood Of 1919 Finally Reaches Downtown Boston
After an arduous 101 year journey, the carnage of the 1919 Boston Molasses Flood has traveled an entire six blocks and finally reached downtown Boston, nudging everything in its path. “This disaster has been in my family for decades. My great-grandfather was there when the tank burst,” said longtime local Dana Tyrell. “And my grandfather was there when the first molasses hit … [Read more...] about Great Molasses Flood Of 1919 Finally Reaches Downtown Boston