When his grandson tried calling to explain the meme over the phone, Sanders accidentally hung up repeatedly because his now-iconic mittens pressed like every button. … [Read more...] about Bernie Sanders Entirely Unaware Of Meme Status Because His Jitterbug Flip Phone Has No Internet In Vermont
Boston satire
Rich Friend With Good Health Insurance Insists You Spend $200 To Throw Yourselves Down A Mountain Together
“Skiing is absolutely worth the cost, it’s a blast! Plus, we can wear helmets and masks, so it’s totally safe,” said your friend, who already owns all the equipment you have to rent and has a fully-loaded HSA. … [Read more...] about Rich Friend With Good Health Insurance Insists You Spend $200 To Throw Yourselves Down A Mountain Together
Great Molasses Flood Of 1919 Finally Reaches Downtown Boston
After an arduous 101 year journey, the carnage of the 1919 Boston Molasses Flood has traveled an entire six blocks and finally reached downtown Boston, nudging everything in its path. “This disaster has been in my family for decades. My great-grandfather was there when the tank burst,” said longtime local Dana Tyrell. “And my grandfather was there when the first molasses hit … [Read more...] about Great Molasses Flood Of 1919 Finally Reaches Downtown Boston
Mark Wahlberg Begs To Get Medal Of Freedom In Belichick’s Place
Patriots Coach Bill Belichick has denied the Medal of Freedom offered by President Trump, but, according to reports today, Mark Wahlberg has already put himself out there as a possible alternative recipient. "Look I'm not saying that it should have been me," said Wahlberg, appearing angry as if he had been personally insulted. "I'm just saying that, if it were me, I … [Read more...] about Mark Wahlberg Begs To Get Medal Of Freedom In Belichick’s Place
Man Who Hasn’t Washed Mask Since August Confused Where This Rash Came From
BOSTON, MA—After five consecutive months of not washing the one cloth face mask he owns, local man Dalton Fisher told reporters Thursday he has absolutely no idea why his chin, cheeks, and mouth are now covered in a constellation of grotesque pustules. “I’m telling you, it’s bizarre! Six months ago my skin was perfectly clear. Now it looks like a Little Caesars Hot-N-Ready … [Read more...] about Man Who Hasn’t Washed Mask Since August Confused Where This Rash Came From