“Staying safe is sexy AF,” wrote Cosmo editor Lilac Evergreen, who ranked mask tan lines just above turquoise latex gloves. “Everyone will be staring, I promise you that.” … [Read more...] about Cosmo Declares Mask Tan Lines The Sexiest Trend Of Summer 2020
National News
Trump Tells Americans Skeptical Of His Mental State That He Once Finished Entire I Spy Book
"It was very hard—some people say the hardest—because the pictures have so much going on! It's crazy how much they have going on. You really gotta be a genius to finish one, and I did it,” said the president, grinning with pride.“The fake news media will say I didn’t, but I did.” … [Read more...] about Trump Tells Americans Skeptical Of His Mental State That He Once Finished Entire I Spy Book
Gordon Hayward Misses Mark With Protest Jersey About Gaming
As his Celtics teammates wore jerseys sporting uplifting messages of protest like “Black Lives Matter,” “Equality,” and “Liberation” during the NBA season restart, Hayward used his platform to express strong opinions about video games. “I’m a huge gamer, and I don’t think Americans talk enough about how superior Fortnite is to Call of Duty Warzone,” said the NBA player … [Read more...] about Gordon Hayward Misses Mark With Protest Jersey About Gaming
“Live, Laugh, Love” Sign Mocking You More Each Day
BOSTON, MA—Krista McMullen, a recent college graduate, stares at the sign with snowballing insanity, “I literally can’t.” The sign sits above the couch in her basement studio. “At first I thought it was cute. Now it’s just a daily reminder of how awful the world is.” At press time, sources indicate Krista was seen drinking from a mug that said "Hang in there.” Written … [Read more...] about “Live, Laugh, Love” Sign Mocking You More Each Day
Man Preps For Reopening Of Bars By Lighting $100 On Fire, Spilling Half His Drinks On Floor
“I’m so pumped that nightlife might be opening up soon—I really miss bar-hopping in Kendall Square,” said 28-year-old Jeff Torres, who typically spent his evenings out jostling through packed dance floors to buy $15 gin and tonics. "Drinking at home is so boring and efficient." Torres says he's also been practicing calling Ubers after blacking out, formerly a regular … [Read more...] about Man Preps For Reopening Of Bars By Lighting $100 On Fire, Spilling Half His Drinks On Floor