In a valiant effort to bolster his lackluster healthcare plan, Joe Biden has tapped former opponent Bernie Sanders to go door-to-door with a stethoscope and “give the millions of uninsured Americans a much-needed checkup.” “My friend Joe has asked me to see to it that every individual in our country has access to quality, affordable healthcare,” said the 78-year-old Vermont … [Read more...] about Biden Supplements Healthcare Plan By Sending Bernie Sanders Door-To-Door With Stethoscope
National News
Local Uncle Convinced Ghislaine Maxwell Is Tom Brady’s Wife, Refuses To Google It
“I don’t care what people are saying about her, that woman came all the way from Brazil to support Brady through 4 Super Bowl wins,” said your woefully misinformed uncle. “And more importantly, she’s an absolute smokeshow. You know she modeled for Victoria’s Secret, right?” Written by contributor Michael Tobin. Check out Michael on Instagram and Twitter … [Read more...] about Local Uncle Convinced Ghislaine Maxwell Is Tom Brady’s Wife, Refuses To Google It
“Comedic Genius” Nancy Pelosi Endorses Joe Kennedy As A Bit
In an unexpected move, Nancy Pelosi “totally punked” Massachusetts politicos on Thursday afternoon by endorsing Joe Kennedy III over incumbent Ed Markey in the Commonwealth’s hotly contested Democratic primary for US Senate. Her statement was widely met with confusion, as it contradicted the Democratic Party policy to endorse incumbent candidates. But according to unnamed … [Read more...] about “Comedic Genius” Nancy Pelosi Endorses Joe Kennedy As A Bit
EXCLUSIVE: Ed Markey Regrets Decision To Be Old
Admitting that he “made a big mistake,” Senate incumbent Ed Markey apologized to Massachusetts voters this week for “choosing to be old.” “When my campaign and I decided I would be born in 1946, we didn’t foresee the immense impact it would have on this Senate primary,” said Markey at a press conference on Thursday. “I can only hope the great people of Massachusetts can … [Read more...] about EXCLUSIVE: Ed Markey Regrets Decision To Be Old
Tom Brady Installs Emergency Avocado In Tampa Bay Locker
“In crazy times like these, you never know when you need an avocado,” said Brady. “I can’t tell you how often I find myself in major crisis because I need monounsaturated fat.” Image and headline by contributor Jack Stebbins. Check out Jack on Instagram @stebbuns and Twitter @jackstebbs … [Read more...] about Tom Brady Installs Emergency Avocado In Tampa Bay Locker