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The Boston Accent

The Boston Accent

New England’s Source For Wicked Serious News

Michael Tobin

Local Dunkin’ Donuts Haunted By Ghost Of Baskin-Robbins

August 29, 2020 by Michael Tobin

“Ever since I started working here three weeks ago, a lot of strange things have been happening,” said a Dunkin’ staff member at a location in Needham, which like many stores formerly housed a Baskin-Robbins ice-cream shop. “It all seems to be coming from that empty counter over there, the eerie one that has spaces for thirty-one delicious flavors.” Though the Dunkin’ … [Read more...] about Local Dunkin’ Donuts Haunted By Ghost Of Baskin-Robbins

Local Uncle Convinced Ghislaine Maxwell Is Tom Brady’s Wife, Refuses To Google It

August 23, 2020 by Michael Tobin

“I don’t care what people are saying about her, that woman came all the way from Brazil to support Brady through 4 Super Bowl wins,” said your woefully misinformed uncle. “And more importantly, she’s an absolute smokeshow. You know she modeled for Victoria’s Secret, right?” Written by contributor Michael Tobin. Check out Michael on Instagram and Twitter … [Read more...] about Local Uncle Convinced Ghislaine Maxwell Is Tom Brady’s Wife, Refuses To Google It

Eliot From Jordan’s Furniture Commercials Loses All Strength After Cutting Ponytail

August 4, 2020 by Michael Tobin

Until recently, Eliot Tatelman--the face of iconic New England chain Jordan's Furniture--was known amongst friends to be somewhat of a Samson type. “I once saw him lift an entire Beautyrest Mattress clear over his head and spin it on one finger,” tweeted a former employee of Tatelman just last week. It all went wrong when Eliot attempted to give himself a quarantine … [Read more...] about Eliot From Jordan’s Furniture Commercials Loses All Strength After Cutting Ponytail

Governor Baker Forms Exploratory Committee To Find Other Dropkick Murphys Songs About Boston

July 29, 2020 by Michael Tobin

In an emergency public address on Wednesday, Governor Baker announced that, effective immediately, an exploratory committee would begin searching for more Dropkick Murphys songs about Boston."'I'm Shipping Up to Boston' was perhaps the most important unifying force in our capital city since the Boston Tea Party. I truly believe there are other Dropkick Murphys songs out there … [Read more...] about Governor Baker Forms Exploratory Committee To Find Other Dropkick Murphys Songs About Boston

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The Latest

Boston McDonald’s Permanently Closes After Deal Offering Free Shamrock Shake To Any Resident With Shamrock Tattoo Backfires

March 15, 2023

All State Universities To Close After Gov. Healey Bets Education Funding On Red Sox Spring Training Parlay

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National

MBTA Train Left In The Dust By 5-Year-Old On Tricycle

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The Boston Accent is New England’s best source of wicked serious news.

We publish satire (so don’t sue us) that might make you spit out your Dunkin’ and Boston cream donut all over Harvard Yard.

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Recent

  • MBTA Train Left In The Dust By 5-Year-Old On Tricycle March 21, 2023
  • Boston McDonald’s Permanently Closes After Deal Offering Free Shamrock Shake To Any Resident With Shamrock Tattoo Backfires March 15, 2023
  • All State Universities To Close After Gov. Healey Bets Education Funding On Red Sox Spring Training Parlay March 11, 2023
  • I Can’t Believe This Server Offered Me A Dripping Hot 3-Way My First Time In The North Shore! March 9, 2023

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