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The Boston Accent

The Boston Accent

Wicked Serious Satire

Parents Terrified To Find Teen Experimenting With Street Drug “Venmo“

August 7, 2020 by The Boston Accent

NEEDHAM—We sat down with Pam and Mark Brewster, who recounted the harrowing details of their son’s crippling addiction to a drug called Venmo.

“Our 20-year-old Jack sends his friends money for Venmo almost every day,” said Pam Brewster, sniffling into a tissue. These crazy kids even have an app to track how much Venmo they’re injecting.“

“We just wish he would talk to us about these things,” said Mark Brewster. “Reefer is one thing—but Venmo sounds downright dangerous.”

Jack told our reporters he has tried explaining what Venmo actually is to his parents at least a dozen times. “They’re Boomers, what do you expect? They literally think Zelle is a rapper.”

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Filed Under: National News Tagged With: satire, the Boston accent, venmo

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