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The Boston Accent

The Boston Accent

New England’s Source For Wicked Serious News

Culture

30-Year-Old Man Jogging In Marginally Cold Weather Pretty Sure He Could Hack It In SEAL Training

December 27, 2020 by The Boston Accent

As Derrick Bryant, 30, went on his bi-weekly three mile jog today, the mild discomfort caused by the 34 degree weather assured him that, if he wanted, he could probably still enlist as a Navy SEAL, despite their age cutoff of 28 and far more rigorous training standard. “I'm sure it's tough, but hell, I could do it still, I bet. I'm in pretty good shape, and I mean, it's cold … [Read more...] about 30-Year-Old Man Jogging In Marginally Cold Weather Pretty Sure He Could Hack It In SEAL Training

Boston Hastily Throws Gift Card And Socks Into Bag In Return For Nova Scotia’s Gifted Christmas Tree

December 24, 2020 by Bailey Hull

In a frantic gesture of goodwill, Boston has collectively thrown together a gift card and some nice socks to thank Nova Scotia for the annual Christmas Tree they send the city. “Nova Scotia has gifted Boston a massive white spruce Christmas tree every year since the 1940’s to thank our city for sending vital supplies and medical assistance after the 1917 Halifax Explosion, … [Read more...] about Boston Hastily Throws Gift Card And Socks Into Bag In Return For Nova Scotia’s Gifted Christmas Tree

$600 Stimulus Check Covers Rent For 3 Square Inches Of Cambridgeport Apartment

December 22, 2020 by Bailey Hull

CAMBRIDGEPORT — In a massive win for tenants, the recent $600 COVID-19 stimulus check approved by the House and Senate will officially cover a few weeks rent for 3 whole square inches of a Cambridgeport studio apartment. “After losing my job in May, I wasn’t sure how I was going to afford my egregious rent,” said Cambridgeport tenant Maggie Wong. “But thankfully, Congress … [Read more...] about $600 Stimulus Check Covers Rent For 3 Square Inches Of Cambridgeport Apartment

Local Dad Pulls Shovel From Shed Like Soldier Preparing For War

December 17, 2020 by The Boston Accent

“I haven’t seen a storm like this since the Blizzard of ‘96. We lost a lot of good people that day,” said local father Matt Hill, marching toward the sidewalk with his shovel resting firmly on a shoulder. “If I don’t come back, tell my family I love them.” … [Read more...] about Local Dad Pulls Shovel From Shed Like Soldier Preparing For War

Succulent Thriving On No Water And Zero Attention, Unlike You

December 8, 2020 by The Boston Accent

As made clear by its waxy sheen and plump leaves, your succulent is absolutely loving its total lack of hydration and dearth of love and affection. It’s too bad those same conditions are literally killing you. … [Read more...] about Succulent Thriving On No Water And Zero Attention, Unlike You

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  • Celtics Trade Two NBA Champions For An Unopened Labubu June 26, 2025
  • Honoring A Legend: Eliot Tatelman’s Ponytail To Hang In Rafters Of Jordan’s Furniture Following Retirement April 27, 2025
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  • American Government Defends Constitution By Abducting Individuals Exercising First Amendment March 28, 2025

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