Now 92 years old, the man finally reached Provincetown this morning, only to die of old age by afternoon. Headline by contributor Bailey Hull … [Read more...] about Man Starts Family, Builds House, Retires All While Sitting In Labor Day Cape Traffic
Culture
School “Just Outside Boston” Now “Just Inside Internet”
Due to the ongoing pandemic, the elite institution located “just outside of Boston” can now be found “just inside the Internet.” To make sure online-only students don’t miss out on the experience of humble bragging about going to Harvard, the university released guidance for students looking for new ways to fake humility about their school in conversation. “There are … [Read more...] about School “Just Outside Boston” Now “Just Inside Internet”
Defunded Boston PD Forced To Cut Mark Wahlberg, Leonardo DiCaprio From Payroll
The Boston Police Department announced Friday that due to budget cuts, they will be forced to lay off actors Mark Wahlberg and Leonardo Dicaprio from their payroll. “Recent calls for police reform have put pressure on the department to make difficult funding decisions,” said Chief of Police Mike O’Connor in a press conference. “ We hate to do it, but we have to let … [Read more...] about Defunded Boston PD Forced To Cut Mark Wahlberg, Leonardo DiCaprio From Payroll
Eliot From Jordan’s Furniture Commercials Loses All Strength After Cutting Ponytail
Until recently, Eliot Tatelman--the face of iconic New England chain Jordan's Furniture--was known amongst friends to be somewhat of a Samson type. “I once saw him lift an entire Beautyrest Mattress clear over his head and spin it on one finger,” tweeted a former employee of Tatelman just last week. It all went wrong when Eliot attempted to give himself a quarantine … [Read more...] about Eliot From Jordan’s Furniture Commercials Loses All Strength After Cutting Ponytail
Cosmo Declares Mask Tan Lines The Sexiest Trend Of Summer 2020
“Staying safe is sexy AF,” wrote Cosmo editor Lilac Evergreen, who ranked mask tan lines just above turquoise latex gloves. “Everyone will be staring, I promise you that.” … [Read more...] about Cosmo Declares Mask Tan Lines The Sexiest Trend Of Summer 2020