In a move experts are calling “totally weird but kind of necessary,” Tufts University announced this week that they will be purchasing every first year student a Pornhub Premium account, intended to “keep them occupied for a while” so they don’t party. “As an administration, our reopening plan is comprehensive and places student safety at its core,” said a school … [Read more...] about Tufts University Buys Pornhub Premium For Every Freshman To Keep Students In Dorms
Culture
EXCLUSIVE: We Interviewed The Elf Who Announces Each Stop For The MBTA
BOSTON, MA – Ever wondered who reads the gargled MBTA stop names you strain to hear each morning? Look no further than Peppermint Sugarplum, the little elf who lives inside the T train speakers. This week, we tracked down the spritely and elusive elf for an exclusive interview about his job, life, and motivations. “My career started when the faeries, beasties, and elves were … [Read more...] about EXCLUSIVE: We Interviewed The Elf Who Announces Each Stop For The MBTA
Man Starts Family, Builds House, Retires All While Sitting In Labor Day Cape Traffic
Now 92 years old, the man finally reached Provincetown this morning, only to die of old age by afternoon. Headline by contributor Bailey Hull … [Read more...] about Man Starts Family, Builds House, Retires All While Sitting In Labor Day Cape Traffic
School “Just Outside Boston” Now “Just Inside Internet”
Due to the ongoing pandemic, the elite institution located “just outside of Boston” can now be found “just inside the Internet.” To make sure online-only students don’t miss out on the experience of humble bragging about going to Harvard, the university released guidance for students looking for new ways to fake humility about their school in conversation. “There are … [Read more...] about School “Just Outside Boston” Now “Just Inside Internet”
Defunded Boston PD Forced To Cut Mark Wahlberg, Leonardo DiCaprio From Payroll
The Boston Police Department announced Friday that due to budget cuts, they will be forced to lay off actors Mark Wahlberg and Leonardo Dicaprio from their payroll. “Recent calls for police reform have put pressure on the department to make difficult funding decisions,” said Chief of Police Mike O’Connor in a press conference. “ We hate to do it, but we have to let … [Read more...] about Defunded Boston PD Forced To Cut Mark Wahlberg, Leonardo DiCaprio From Payroll