It’s time to change the lightbulb. (Follow us on Instagram!) … [Read more...] about Trump’s Bright Orange Glow Dims To Pale Yellow Tint As Presidency Fizzles Out
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Susan Collins Molts Skin In Preparation For New Senate Term
“It’s time to start fresh, for Maine!” said Collins, peeling off flecks of falling skin from her tailored pantsuit for the fifth time in her life. … [Read more...] about Susan Collins Molts Skin In Preparation For New Senate Term
Five Tips For Turning Your 300-Square-Foot Apartment Into A Post-Election Apocalypse Bunker
You may be thinking: "I live in a tiny studio in Back Bay. If an apocalyptic civil war breaks out after election day, I'm totally screwed." Well, you couldn't be more wrong! Here are five tried and true tips that will help you repurpose your cozy apartment for the dark days ahead. Use the lack of elevator to your advantage. There is no way your dinky little dwelling has … [Read more...] about Five Tips For Turning Your 300-Square-Foot Apartment Into A Post-Election Apocalypse Bunker
Now That Pats Suck, Local Man Has No Choice But To Get To Know Family
With the New England Patriots recording their worst season in nearly 20 years, local Braintree man Mikey Brown has surprisingly found himself getting to know his family. “The Pats have just been good for so long that I haven’t had a lazy Sunday in years. Now I’m looking around and realizing I should probably get to know my kids,” he added. Brown’s children, ages 5 and 9, … [Read more...] about Now That Pats Suck, Local Man Has No Choice But To Get To Know Family
Mitch McConnell Hurls Amy Coney Barrett Through Glass Ceiling
“No one can deny I am a feminist now,” said McConnell, wiping shards of glass from his blazer. … [Read more...] about Mitch McConnell Hurls Amy Coney Barrett Through Glass Ceiling