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The Boston Accent

The Boston Accent

New England’s Source For Wicked Serious News

Will Vaillancourt

Fake Exploding Package At Northeastern Still More Real Than Roommate’s Girlfriend Who ‘Just Goes To A Different School’

October 9, 2022 by Will Vaillancourt

"Sure, the suspicious package thing may have just been a big ruse for some dude to criticize Mark Zuckerberg,“ said Northeastern sophomore Evan Griswold. "But it still had more truth to it than my roommate talking about his 'girlfriend' who he swears is 'very cool' and ‘goes to Tufts which is too far for her to visit.’ Sure.” … [Read more...] about Fake Exploding Package At Northeastern Still More Real Than Roommate’s Girlfriend Who ‘Just Goes To A Different School’

Tommy Heinsohn Spends First Week In Heaven Reading List Of Missed Calls Against Celtics To David Stern

November 17, 2020 by Will Vaillancourt

HEAVEN—Celtics legend Tommy Heinsohn, who passed away last Tuesday at the age of 86, spent his first week in heaven giving an earful to former NBA commissioner David Stern over decades of missed calls against his beloved team. Heinsohn’s arrival at the pearly gates—painted purple and gold, much to his chagrin—occurred only ten months after Stern’s passing. In fact, rumor has … [Read more...] about Tommy Heinsohn Spends First Week In Heaven Reading List Of Missed Calls Against Celtics To David Stern

U-Haul Unveils New Line Of Convertible Moving Trucks For Storrow Drive

August 11, 2020 by Will Vaillancourt

In anticipation of the September 1st moving day that plagues Boston each year, U-Haul announced it will introduce convertible moving trucks designed for use along Storrow Drive.  “Trucks get stuck under the overpasses on Storrow every year, no matter how many warnings the city puts up,” said Director of Vehicle Design and Aerodynamics Hubert “Hugh” Hall at a press … [Read more...] about U-Haul Unveils New Line Of Convertible Moving Trucks For Storrow Drive

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Boston McDonald’s Permanently Closes After Deal Offering Free Shamrock Shake To Any Resident With Shamrock Tattoo Backfires

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The Boston Accent is New England’s best source of wicked serious news.

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Recent

  • MBTA Train Left In The Dust By 5-Year-Old On Tricycle March 21, 2023
  • Boston McDonald’s Permanently Closes After Deal Offering Free Shamrock Shake To Any Resident With Shamrock Tattoo Backfires March 15, 2023
  • All State Universities To Close After Gov. Healey Bets Education Funding On Red Sox Spring Training Parlay March 11, 2023
  • I Can’t Believe This Server Offered Me A Dripping Hot 3-Way My First Time In The North Shore! March 9, 2023

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