"I may be five foot six, but my hair is fucking fantastic," said 31-year-old short guy Jason Cohen to himself in the mirror during his daily affirmation this morning. Cohen is the shortest one in his friend group, but also the only guy with a non-receding hairline, not to mention flowing, wavy locks that perfectly frame his face. "Life is going pretty okay for you, … [Read more...] about Short Guy Just Happy He Has Nice Hair
the Boston accent
Tufts University Buys Pornhub Premium For Every Freshman To Keep Students In Dorms
In a move experts are calling “totally weird but kind of necessary,” Tufts University announced this week that they will be purchasing every first year student a Pornhub Premium account, intended to “keep them occupied for a while” so they don’t party. “As an administration, our reopening plan is comprehensive and places student safety at its core,” said a school … [Read more...] about Tufts University Buys Pornhub Premium For Every Freshman To Keep Students In Dorms
EXCLUSIVE: We Interviewed The Elf Who Announces Each Stop For The MBTA
BOSTON, MA – Ever wondered who reads the gargled MBTA stop names you strain to hear each morning? Look no further than Peppermint Sugarplum, the little elf who lives inside the T train speakers. This week, we tracked down the spritely and elusive elf for an exclusive interview about his job, life, and motivations. “My career started when the faeries, beasties, and elves were … [Read more...] about EXCLUSIVE: We Interviewed The Elf Who Announces Each Stop For The MBTA
Man Starts Family, Builds House, Retires All While Sitting In Labor Day Cape Traffic
Now 92 years old, the man finally reached Provincetown this morning, only to die of old age by afternoon. Headline by contributor Bailey Hull … [Read more...] about Man Starts Family, Builds House, Retires All While Sitting In Labor Day Cape Traffic
Biden Supplements Healthcare Plan By Sending Bernie Sanders Door-To-Door With Stethoscope
In a valiant effort to bolster his lackluster healthcare plan, Joe Biden has tapped former opponent Bernie Sanders to go door-to-door with a stethoscope and “give the millions of uninsured Americans a much-needed checkup.” “My friend Joe has asked me to see to it that every individual in our country has access to quality, affordable healthcare,” said the 78-year-old Vermont … [Read more...] about Biden Supplements Healthcare Plan By Sending Bernie Sanders Door-To-Door With Stethoscope