WASHINGTON, DC — Trillions of Trump supporters have marched on Washington D.C. demanding an accurate count of the Presidential election. The protest is approximated to be largest gathering of humans ever, and the crowd is united over one goal: to make sure that every legal vote in the presidential election is correctly quantified. “The 2.3 trillion of us only want one … [Read more...] about Trillions Of Trump Supporters Protest For An Accurate Count
the Boston accent
Diversity Win! This Harvard Undergrad Doesn’t Even Have A Trust Fund
Wow! Harvard really is an inclusive institution. According to reports, the prestigious university in Cambridge apparently let in at least one student who does not have a 7-figure trust fund. “This is really a historic first for us,” said Harvard President Larry Bacow. “The student’s parents are not even partners at a law or private equity firm! We are really breaking … [Read more...] about Diversity Win! This Harvard Undergrad Doesn’t Even Have A Trust Fund
Bill Belichick Refuses To Concede Last Week’s Loss To Buffalo Bills
Patriots coach Bill Belichick announced today that he continues to dispute the official results of last Sunday’s matchup with the Buffalo Bills. Belichick made the statement during a press conference with reporters from the Boston Herald this morning, held in the parking lot out front of the big Home Depot in Somerville, next to I-93. “These are just preliminary results,” a … [Read more...] about Bill Belichick Refuses To Concede Last Week’s Loss To Buffalo Bills
Nation Unsure What To Do With Encyclopedic Knowledge Of Pennsylvania Counties
Following 96 straight hours of election coverage, the citizens of the United States are now unsure what to do with their newfound encyclopedic knowledge of every county in the state of Pennsylvania. Since Tuesday, news outlets across the nation have provided a 24/7 crash course on the detailed geography of the Keystone State. Americans have devoured mountains of data about … [Read more...] about Nation Unsure What To Do With Encyclopedic Knowledge Of Pennsylvania Counties
Five Tips For Turning Your 300-Square-Foot Apartment Into A Post-Election Apocalypse Bunker
You may be thinking: "I live in a tiny studio in Back Bay. If an apocalyptic civil war breaks out after election day, I'm totally screwed." Well, you couldn't be more wrong! Here are five tried and true tips that will help you repurpose your cozy apartment for the dark days ahead. Use the lack of elevator to your advantage. There is no way your dinky little dwelling has … [Read more...] about Five Tips For Turning Your 300-Square-Foot Apartment Into A Post-Election Apocalypse Bunker