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The Boston Accent

The Boston Accent

New England’s Source For Wicked Serious News

the Boston accent

Kink-Shaming? I Got Kicked Out Of CVS For Wearing My Fishnet Mask

November 21, 2020 by The Boston Accent

I can’t believe this. I thought it was 2020, and I could choose how to dress without judgement or persecution. Apparently not. Because when I walked into CVS with my fishnet mask, I was asked to leave immediately! I simply don’t understand the problem. The sexy mask goes over my nose and mouth. And sure, it shows a little skin, and my lips, and both my nostrils, but why … [Read more...] about Kink-Shaming? I Got Kicked Out Of CVS For Wearing My Fishnet Mask

Trillions Of Trump Supporters Protest For An Accurate Count

November 14, 2020 by Jack Stebbins

WASHINGTON, DC — Trillions of Trump supporters have marched on Washington D.C. demanding an accurate count of the Presidential election. The protest is approximated to be largest gathering of humans ever, and the crowd is united over one goal: to make sure that every legal vote in the presidential election is correctly quantified. “The 2.3 trillion of us only want one … [Read more...] about Trillions Of Trump Supporters Protest For An Accurate Count

Diversity Win! This Harvard Undergrad Doesn’t Even Have A Trust Fund

November 14, 2020 by The Boston Accent

Wow! Harvard really is an inclusive institution. According to reports, the prestigious university in Cambridge apparently let in at least one student who does not have a 7-figure trust fund. “This is really a historic first for us,” said Harvard President Larry Bacow. “The student’s parents are not even partners at a law or private equity firm! We are really breaking … [Read more...] about Diversity Win! This Harvard Undergrad Doesn’t Even Have A Trust Fund

Bill Belichick Refuses To Concede Last Week’s Loss To Buffalo Bills

November 10, 2020 by Jake Margolin

Patriots coach Bill Belichick announced today that he continues to dispute the official results of last Sunday’s matchup with the Buffalo Bills. Belichick made the statement during a press conference with reporters from the Boston Herald this morning, held in the parking lot out front of the big Home Depot in Somerville, next to I-93. “These are just preliminary results,” a … [Read more...] about Bill Belichick Refuses To Concede Last Week’s Loss To Buffalo Bills

Nation Unsure What To Do With Encyclopedic Knowledge Of Pennsylvania Counties

November 7, 2020 by Jack Stebbins

Following 96 straight hours of election coverage, the citizens of the United States are now unsure what to do with their newfound encyclopedic knowledge of every county in the state of Pennsylvania. Since Tuesday, news outlets across the nation have provided a 24/7 crash course on the detailed geography of the Keystone State. Americans have devoured mountains of data about … [Read more...] about Nation Unsure What To Do With Encyclopedic Knowledge Of Pennsylvania Counties

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