WASHINGTON D.C. — After the U.S. Capitol was overrun with rioters and terrorists seeking to overturn the certification of the 2020 election, the Capitol Police Force has announced that billions of dollars will be invested in state-of-art anti-door-opening technology. Today, the Force unveiled their new high-tech security measures for the next Republican insurrection: two … [Read more...] about Capitol Police Invest Billions In Anti-Door-Opening Technology
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Georgia Engulfed In Blue Wave 5 Years Earlier Than Climate Scientists Expected
ATLANTA – The victories of Senators-Elect Raphael Warnock and Jon Ossoff have submerged the state of Georgia in a blue wave years earlier than climate scientists expected. “I thought the first time I would see a blue Georgia would be from a boat,” said 27-year-old resident Erica Sawyer. “Our coastline has been eroding fast, but this flood came way ahead of schedule.” In a … [Read more...] about Georgia Engulfed In Blue Wave 5 Years Earlier Than Climate Scientists Expected
Boston Hastily Throws Gift Card And Socks Into Bag In Return For Nova Scotia’s Gifted Christmas Tree
In a frantic gesture of goodwill, Boston has collectively thrown together a gift card and some nice socks to thank Nova Scotia for the annual Christmas Tree they send the city. “Nova Scotia has gifted Boston a massive white spruce Christmas tree every year since the 1940’s to thank our city for sending vital supplies and medical assistance after the 1917 Halifax Explosion, … [Read more...] about Boston Hastily Throws Gift Card And Socks Into Bag In Return For Nova Scotia’s Gifted Christmas Tree
$600 Stimulus Check Covers Rent For 3 Square Inches Of Cambridgeport Apartment
CAMBRIDGEPORT — In a massive win for tenants, the recent $600 COVID-19 stimulus check approved by the House and Senate will officially cover a few weeks rent for 3 whole square inches of a Cambridgeport studio apartment. “After losing my job in May, I wasn’t sure how I was going to afford my egregious rent,” said Cambridgeport tenant Maggie Wong. “But thankfully, Congress … [Read more...] about $600 Stimulus Check Covers Rent For 3 Square Inches Of Cambridgeport Apartment
Boston Department Of Transportation Brings Out Zambonis To Ensure Road Ice Is Perfectly Smooth
“We want our city streets to be so slick and sleek, the Bruins could practice on them,” said DOT representative Dana Lewis. … [Read more...] about Boston Department Of Transportation Brings Out Zambonis To Ensure Road Ice Is Perfectly Smooth