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The Boston Accent

The Boston Accent

New England’s Source For Wicked Serious News

Massachusetts

We Rank The Top Zero Happy Hours In Massachusetts

October 10, 2021 by The Boston Accent

Check out our DEFINITIVE list of the best happy hour spots in the Bay State! 1. All done. Enjoy living in a state that’s apparently still run by Puritans! … [Read more...] about We Rank The Top Zero Happy Hours In Massachusetts

Gov. Baker Announces Statewide Bacchanalian Sex Carnival Can Begin May 29

May 19, 2021 by The Boston Accent

Content warning: crude language BOSTON—In an official statement from Beacon Hill, Governor Charlie Baker announced that Massachusetts will host its first annual statewide bacchanalian sex carnival at 100% capacity on May 29. “I am pleased to inform the citizens of Massachusetts that, after a year of hardship, sacrifice, and diligence, they can rip off their masks with … [Read more...] about Gov. Baker Announces Statewide Bacchanalian Sex Carnival Can Begin May 29

“Comedic Genius” Nancy Pelosi Endorses Joe Kennedy As A Bit

August 20, 2020 by Alice H. Lahoda

In an unexpected move, Nancy Pelosi “totally punked” Massachusetts politicos on Thursday afternoon by endorsing Joe Kennedy III over incumbent Ed Markey in the Commonwealth’s hotly contested Democratic primary for US Senate. Her statement was widely met with confusion, as it contradicted the Democratic Party policy to endorse incumbent candidates. But according to unnamed … [Read more...] about “Comedic Genius” Nancy Pelosi Endorses Joe Kennedy As A Bit

Joe Kennedy Reveals New Campaign Strategy: Say “Kennedy” As Often As Possible

August 4, 2020 by Jack Stebbins

During last week's debate with incumbent Ed Markey, Joe Kennedy III leaned into his newest and, frankly, best campaign strategy: repeating his prestigious name as many times as humanly possible. The Senate-hopeful, who is the grandson of Robert F. Kennedy, reminded the audience of that fact at least two dozen times. Each mention of RFK generated eardrum-shattering amounts of … [Read more...] about Joe Kennedy Reveals New Campaign Strategy: Say “Kennedy” As Often As Possible

Citing Health Concerns, Sharks Of Cape Cod Announce Ban On Eating Humans

July 23, 2020 by The Boston Accent

“Yeah, we’re gonna pass on eating you this year,” said shark commissioner Larry Bytes, wearing a mask as he spoke to human reporters. We’ll stick to eating safe things, like seals and pieces of plastic.” … [Read more...] about Citing Health Concerns, Sharks Of Cape Cod Announce Ban On Eating Humans

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  • Honoring A Legend: Eliot Tatelman’s Ponytail To Hang In Rafters Of Jordan’s Furniture Following Retirement April 27, 2025
  • Red Sox Reveal Rafael Devers Has Been Using New Donut Shaped Bat April 2, 2025
  • American Government Defends Constitution By Abducting Individuals Exercising First Amendment March 28, 2025
  • Very Real Saint Patrick’s Day Events Across Boston March 14, 2025

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