The Boston Accent

Wicked Serious Satire

Massachusetts

Worcester Crowned The ‘Is Pepsi Okay?’ City Of Massachusetts

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Move over, city of champions: Massachusetts has a new title to celebrate and for once it has nothing to do with Boston. Worcester was recently declared the “is Pepsi okay” city of The Bay State! The competition for the title was fierce, and the accolade almost ended up going to Springfield. Ultimately, Worcester secured its status as the … [Read more...] about Worcester Crowned The ‘Is Pepsi Okay?’ City Of Massachusetts

Santa Reminds Mass Residents That “Less Traffic On 95” Is Not A Realistic Gift

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BRAINTREE, MA — We caught up with the big man himself, Santa Claus, who gave us a rundown of the most popular gift requests in the Bay State. Near the top of the list were expected requests, like Playstation 5’s, iPhone 13’s, and a real point guard for the Celtics. But what topped that list this year? Something Father Christmas sadly wants to remind residents he can’t actually … [Read more...] about Santa Reminds Mass Residents That “Less Traffic On 95” Is Not A Realistic Gift

Mass Residents Prepare For Snow By Identifying Which Neighbors Will Shovel Out A Spot They Can Steal

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“I actually started the winter parking hunt on Halloween by seeing which neighbors give out what,” explained Fred Ferreiro of Fall River. “The full size candy bar givers are people that will dig out a spot, but they’ll also call the cops. I was on the lookout for people that gave out handfuls because they’re responsible enough to be stocked up but also pushovers.” … [Read more...] about Mass Residents Prepare For Snow By Identifying Which Neighbors Will Shovel Out A Spot They Can Steal

Gov. Baker Announces Statewide Bacchanalian Sex Carnival Can Begin May 29

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Content warning: crude language BOSTON—In an official statement from Beacon Hill, Governor Charlie Baker announced that Massachusetts will host its first annual statewide bacchanalian sex carnival at 100% capacity on May 29. “I am pleased to inform the citizens of Massachusetts that, after a year of hardship, sacrifice, and diligence, they can rip off their masks with … [Read more...] about Gov. Baker Announces Statewide Bacchanalian Sex Carnival Can Begin May 29