BOSTON—Recent polling results suggest that citizens of Boston are increasingly worried about the startling lack of blah, noncommittal white men running for mayor in this year’s election. In a historic first for the city, the mayoral race includes approximately zero confused-looking middle-aged white dudes spouting nonsense and palaver. Reports suggest many voters are … [Read more...] about Bostonians Panic Over Lack Of Equivocating White Men In Mayoral Election
boston
Gov. Baker Announces Boston’s Nonexistent Nightlife Can Finally Reopen
BOSTON—Slowly pumping his fist behind the podium, Governor Charlie Baker announced that Boston’s virtually nonexistent nightlife could finally reopen this weekend. “Over the past year, the late-night social scene of our capital city has been stunted by the pandemic. I’m excited to usher in a return to normalcy by opening all clubs and bars back to their former glory of … [Read more...] about Gov. Baker Announces Boston’s Nonexistent Nightlife Can Finally Reopen
Cod Dinner On Good Friday Tasked With Undoing Entire Year Of Catholic Guilt
May your one ceremonial dinner cleanse your filthy soul. Photo credit: Pew … [Read more...] about Cod Dinner On Good Friday Tasked With Undoing Entire Year Of Catholic Guilt
Not To Be Outdone By Chicago, Boston Dyes Marty Walsh Green For Saint Patrick’s Day
In response to the annual dyeing of the Chicago River, Boston has one-upped the Windy City by turning Mayor Marty Walsh green. “We thought it was about time to develop our own green tradition, and I happened to have a bunch of food coloring left over from my niece’s rainbow themed birthday party,” said the shamrock colored mayor. “I honestly kinda like it—makes me feel like … [Read more...] about Not To Be Outdone By Chicago, Boston Dyes Marty Walsh Green For Saint Patrick’s Day
Cool! Berklee Releases Virtual Tour Of Research Lab Where They Grew Charlie Puth
On Friday, recently admitted students to Berklee College of Music were greeted on Zoom with an exciting surprise: a rare glimpse of the lab where the school grew viral sensation and famous alum Charlie Puth! “We wanted to show the future stars of the music industry where today’s artists are carefully created—in our exclusive laboratory deep underground beneath our Boston … [Read more...] about Cool! Berklee Releases Virtual Tour Of Research Lab Where They Grew Charlie Puth