• Skip to main content
  • Skip to primary sidebar
  • Skip to footer
  • Home
  • Top Stories
    • Local
    • National News
    • College
    • Sports
    • Culture
  • About
  • Contact
  • Merch
The Boston Accent

The Boston Accent

New England’s Source For Wicked Serious News

Top Stories

Top Tips For Seducing A Rich Harvard Student And Getting That Bread

February 14, 2021 by Alicia Devereaux

Ever wanted to wed a wealthy Cantabrigian and inherit their family’s fortune? Who hasn’t! Unfortunately, courting an Ivy League suitor is harder than it may seem—especially if you don’t go to, ahem, a small school just outside of Boston. But fear not! Here are some tried and true tips that will help you seduce the rich Harvard student of your parent’s dreams. Mention you … [Read more...] about Top Tips For Seducing A Rich Harvard Student And Getting That Bread

Man Missing Duck Boats Just Drives Into Boston Harbor Himself

February 10, 2021 by Jack Stebbins

"Since the Pats aren't doing a Duck Boat parade this year, I decided I should drive my Honda CR-V into the Harbor in their honor. It's what they would have wanted.” … [Read more...] about Man Missing Duck Boats Just Drives Into Boston Harbor Himself

New England Buccaneers Win Super Bowl

February 7, 2021 by Kevin Kelliher

The New England Buccaneers defeated the Kansas City Chiefs in the Super Bowl atop the shoulders of Tom Brady, Rob Gronkowski, Antonio Brown, and other lesser important players that didn’t come from the Patriots. “WE WON THE SUPERBOWL!” Yelled fans all over New England. “And if you squinted hard enough, it looked like they were wearing Pats ‘Away’ jerseys too. Another banner … [Read more...] about New England Buccaneers Win Super Bowl

Opinion: Moxie Is Actually Delicious If You Enjoy The Taste Of Gasoline

February 6, 2021 by The Boston Accent

I love Moxie! It’s the best soda around. I also love the taste of premium unleaded BP gasoline. These two things are unrelated in my opinion. … [Read more...] about Opinion: Moxie Is Actually Delicious If You Enjoy The Taste Of Gasoline

Jeff Bezos Purchases Nice, Quiet Retirement Country

February 3, 2021 by The Boston Accent

"I'm not too picky, and this is a fixer-upper island nation for sure,” said the retiree. “But with some elbow grease and an innovation mindset, I can have this country running as a nice little oligarchy in a couple years, tops.” Tragically, Bezos says he will only be able to afford a single, modest retirement country instead of an entire continent, although he’s just $5 … [Read more...] about Jeff Bezos Purchases Nice, Quiet Retirement Country

« Previous Page
Next Page »

Primary Sidebar

Follow Us

  • Facebook
  • Instagram
  • Twitter

The Latest

Suffolk University Brand Recognition Skyrockets After Renaming Themselves ‘Temu Emerson’

July 22, 2025

Celtics Trade Two NBA Champions For An Unopened Labubu

June 26, 2025

Honoring A Legend: Eliot Tatelman’s Ponytail To Hang In Rafters Of Jordan’s Furniture Following Retirement

April 27, 2025

Sports

Shelf Life Of Mayo Shorter Than Expected

January 5, 2025

College

American Government Defends Constitution By Abducting Individuals Exercising First Amendment

March 28, 2025

National

Making History: First Ever Non-Tourist Steps Foot In Quincy Market

August 5, 2025

Footer

About Us

The Boston Accent is New England’s best source of wicked serious news.

We publish satire (so don’t sue us) that might make you spit out your Dunkin’ and Boston cream donut all over Harvard Yard.

Want to pitch us? Send 5-10 headlines and a short bio here. New England centric pitches preferred, but open to all (funny) content!

Recent

  • Making History: First Ever Non-Tourist Steps Foot In Quincy Market August 5, 2025
  • Suffolk University Brand Recognition Skyrockets After Renaming Themselves ‘Temu Emerson’ July 22, 2025
  • Celtics Trade Two NBA Champions For An Unopened Labubu June 26, 2025
  • Honoring A Legend: Eliot Tatelman’s Ponytail To Hang In Rafters Of Jordan’s Furniture Following Retirement April 27, 2025

Search

Follow Us!

  • Instagram
  • Facebook
  • Twitter

Copyright © 2025 The Boston Accent · Satire for the Massholes

 

Loading Comments...