SALEM, MA — The city council of Salem announced on Tuesday they've made significant strides in the creation of a coronavirus counter-curse. “Good afternoon, my pretties,” began Councilwoman Sybil Gust in a live streamed press conference . “We are pleased to share that our COVID-19 counter-curse is only two full moons away from completion.” The counter-curse project has … [Read more...] about Salem City Council Announces Progress On Coronavirus Counter-Curse
Belichick Shocks Pats Fans With New Sweatshirt-less Sleeves
Patriots Head Coach Bill Belichick shocked fans and fashion-enthusiasts alike on Sunday when he revealed his new look: sweatshirt-less sleeves, a bold departure from his usual sleeveless sweatshirt. “I always wondered what he did with those sleeves he cut off,” said Bart Wodder, a Patriots fan, and an avid gray sweatshirt wearer. “This is not what I expected. I guess … [Read more...] about Belichick Shocks Pats Fans With New Sweatshirt-less Sleeves
Tom Brady Installs Emergency Avocado In Tampa Bay Locker
“In crazy times like these, you never know when you need an avocado,” said Brady. “I can’t tell you how often I find myself in major crisis because I need monounsaturated fat.” Image and headline by contributor Jack Stebbins. Check out Jack on Instagram @stebbuns and Twitter @jackstebbs … [Read more...] about Tom Brady Installs Emergency Avocado In Tampa Bay Locker
Defunded Boston PD Forced To Cut Mark Wahlberg, Leonardo DiCaprio From Payroll
The Boston Police Department announced Friday that due to budget cuts, they will be forced to lay off actors Mark Wahlberg and Leonardo Dicaprio from their payroll. “Recent calls for police reform have put pressure on the department to make difficult funding decisions,” said Chief of Police Mike O’Connor in a press conference. “ We hate to do it, but we have to let … [Read more...] about Defunded Boston PD Forced To Cut Mark Wahlberg, Leonardo DiCaprio From Payroll
Joe Kennedy Reveals New Campaign Strategy: Say “Kennedy” As Often As Possible
During last week's debate with incumbent Ed Markey, Joe Kennedy III leaned into his newest and, frankly, best campaign strategy: repeating his prestigious name as many times as humanly possible. The Senate-hopeful, who is the grandson of Robert F. Kennedy, reminded the audience of that fact at least two dozen times. Each mention of RFK generated eardrum-shattering amounts of … [Read more...] about Joe Kennedy Reveals New Campaign Strategy: Say “Kennedy” As Often As Possible