• Skip to main content
  • Skip to primary sidebar
  • Skip to footer
  • Home
  • Top Stories
    • Local
    • National News
    • College
    • Sports
    • Culture
  • About
  • Contact
  • Support Us
  • New! Buy Merch
The Boston Accent

The Boston Accent

Wicked Serious Satire

Friend Assures You Visiting New Hampshire Will Actually Be Fun This Time

September 21, 2020 by Bailey Hull

DEDHAM, MA – In a horrifying display of short-term memory, your dumbass friend has assured you a trip to New Hampshire will totally be fun this time around.

“Come on, it’ll be great! We can do a few nights of camping in the White Mountains,” said the imbecile, seemingly forgetting about how you almost drowned in the Saco River after a failed canoe expedition last time you went. “I’ll bring my bear repellant this time too!”

According to the misinformed buffoon, the two of you could “even rent a little Airbnb in Portland and walk along the beach!” seemingly forgetting that Portland is in fact in Maine, and it’s fucking freezing there. The local dullard also showed no regard for the time you stepped on a sand-covered needle at the beach and were shat on by one of those hideous New England seagulls.

At press time, the nincompoop suggested that you two could “even do a day trip up to Vermont,” without a single mention of the time a moose rammed your Honda Accord in two while you were driving to Lake Champlain.

Written by contributor Bailey Hull. Check out Bailey on Instagram

Follow us on Instagram!

Share this:

  • Tweet

Related

Filed Under: Culture, Local Tagged With: New Hampshire, satire, the Boston accent

Primary Sidebar

Follow Us

  • Facebook
  • Instagram
  • Twitter

The Latest

Mark Wahlberg Begs To Get Medal Of Freedom In Belichick’s Place

January 12, 2021

Man Who Hasn’t Washed Mask Since August Confused Where This Rash Came From

January 10, 2021

Capitol Police Invest Billions In Anti-Door-Opening Technology

January 8, 2021

Sports

30-Year-Old Man Jogging In Marginally Cold Weather Pretty Sure He Could Hack It In SEAL Training

December 27, 2020

College

‘I Got Into Dartmouth!’ Exclaims New Hampshire Man Who Just Broke Into School’s Library

December 30, 2020

National

Trump Just One Impeachment Away From A Free Frozen Yogurt

January 13, 2021

Footer

About Us

The Boston Accent is New England’s best source of wicked serious news.

We publish satire (so don’t sue us) that might make you spit out your Dunkin’ and Boston cream donut all over Harvard Yard.

Want to pitch us? Send 5-10 headlines and a short bio here.

Recent

  • Trump Just One Impeachment Away From A Free Frozen Yogurt January 13, 2021
  • Mark Wahlberg Begs To Get Medal Of Freedom In Belichick’s Place January 12, 2021
  • Man Who Hasn’t Washed Mask Since August Confused Where This Rash Came From January 10, 2021
  • Capitol Police Invest Billions In Anti-Door-Opening Technology January 8, 2021

Search

Follow Us!

  • Instagram
  • Facebook
  • Twitter

Copyright © 2021 The Boston Accent · Satire for the Massholes