• Skip to main content
  • Skip to primary sidebar
  • Skip to footer
  • Home
  • Top Stories
    • Local
    • National News
    • College
    • Sports
    • Culture
  • About
  • Contact
  • Merch
The Boston Accent

The Boston Accent

New England’s Source For Wicked Serious News

‘I Bleed Green!’ Says Celtics Fan With Pretty Serious Medical Condition

September 25, 2020 by Kevin Kelliher

Medical experts were baffled on Wednesday after local Celtics fan Brad Barry arrived at the ER literally bleeding green.

Barry, a self-proclaimed “wicked big Celtics fan,” appeared to have cut his face after trying to drink from a broken bottle of Sam Adams following the Celtics’ tragic loss earlier in the evening.

“These brainiac doctors think I’m sick , but I keep telling them to discharge me so I can watch tonight’s game at home alone like I always do. I’m superstitious and like to scream at the TV when Tatum air balls threes for the entire first half.”

Despite the accident and unexplained hue of his clearly diseased blood, Barry remains hopeful. “Celtics in 7!”

Written by contributor Kevin Kelliher.  Follow him on Instagram and Twitter.

Check out our Instagram!

Share this:

  • Tweet
  • Click to email a link to a friend (Opens in new window) Email

Related

Filed Under: Sports, Uncategorized Tagged With: boston, Boston celtics, Celtics, Local, satire, the Boston accent

About Kevin Kelliher

Primary Sidebar

Follow Us

  • Facebook
  • Instagram
  • Twitter

The Latest

Suffolk University Brand Recognition Skyrockets After Renaming Themselves ‘Temu Emerson’

July 22, 2025

Celtics Trade Two NBA Champions For An Unopened Labubu

June 26, 2025

Honoring A Legend: Eliot Tatelman’s Ponytail To Hang In Rafters Of Jordan’s Furniture Following Retirement

April 27, 2025

Sports

Shelf Life Of Mayo Shorter Than Expected

January 5, 2025

College

American Government Defends Constitution By Abducting Individuals Exercising First Amendment

March 28, 2025

National

Making History: First Ever Non-Tourist Steps Foot In Quincy Market

August 5, 2025

Footer

About Us

The Boston Accent is New England’s best source of wicked serious news.

We publish satire (so don’t sue us) that might make you spit out your Dunkin’ and Boston cream donut all over Harvard Yard.

Want to pitch us? Send 5-10 headlines and a short bio here. New England centric pitches preferred, but open to all (funny) content!

Recent

  • Making History: First Ever Non-Tourist Steps Foot In Quincy Market August 5, 2025
  • Suffolk University Brand Recognition Skyrockets After Renaming Themselves ‘Temu Emerson’ July 22, 2025
  • Celtics Trade Two NBA Champions For An Unopened Labubu June 26, 2025
  • Honoring A Legend: Eliot Tatelman’s Ponytail To Hang In Rafters Of Jordan’s Furniture Following Retirement April 27, 2025

Search

Follow Us!

  • Instagram
  • Facebook
  • Twitter

Copyright © 2025 The Boston Accent · Satire for the Massholes