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The Boston Accent

The Boston Accent

Wicked Serious Satire

satire

Nation On Edge As Cases Of First Wordle Loss Rise Dramatically

February 19, 2022 by The Boston Accent

“I never thought this would happen to me, I always played it safe and was extra careful,” said 32-year-old Priya, who asked we do not share her last name due to overwhelming shame. “I was about to hit a streak of 50 days in a row and then the New York Times took over. Now it feels like my life is basically over.” All across the country, health departments are reporting an … [Read more...] about Nation On Edge As Cases Of First Wordle Loss Rise Dramatically

Man Who Didn’t Cry At Own Father’s Funeral Posts Teary-Eyed Tribute About Tom Brady Retiring

January 29, 2022 by The Boston Accent

“Brady was like a father to me, even though I’m 10 years older than him,” said Medford resident Louie Palanzo in a tear-filled Facebook live video stream. “He was always there for me, through the thick and thin, every season. After my old man kicked the bucket, I cheered myself up watching the Pats at the wake. His retirement is without a doubt the saddest moment of my entire … [Read more...] about Man Who Didn’t Cry At Own Father’s Funeral Posts Teary-Eyed Tribute About Tom Brady Retiring

Belichick Promises To Resume Cheating In 2022 For Sake Of Patriots Fans

January 17, 2022 by Andrew Haskell

In an announcement sure to appease hurting Pats fans everywhere, Bill Belichick told reporters today that next season, the team will “most likely” bring back cheating to avoid another heartbreak season.  “Suffering through a 47-17 loss to the Buffalo Bills can have a devastating impact on the mental and physical health of our fan base,” Belichick said. “You know me, I’m … [Read more...] about Belichick Promises To Resume Cheating In 2022 For Sake Of Patriots Fans

How To Tell It’s Winter In New England

January 12, 2022 by Rodney Lacroix

New Englanders get to experience all four seasons, whether we like it or not. Sure, all states technically have a winter, but let’s be real: 65 degree evenings and slightly fewer alligator attacks don’t count (Cough…Florida…cough). Here are seven surefire ways you can tell a New England winter has officially arrived, without looking at the thermometer. One of the teens at … [Read more...] about How To Tell It’s Winter In New England

‘I Did A Cappella In College,’ Reports Friend Who Desperately Would Like You To Ask About It

October 5, 2021 by Rusty Epstein

CAMBRIDGE, Mass. — Chiming in almost instantaneously the moment the conversation turned to music, local late twenty-something Todd Goodwin confirmed that he did a cappella in college and, yes, would love to dive deeper into that topic. “Yeah, I was in the Tufts Beelzebubs — or the ‘Bubs,’ as we called it,” reported Goodwin to a crowd of completely uninterested acquaintances. … [Read more...] about ‘I Did A Cappella In College,’ Reports Friend Who Desperately Would Like You To Ask About It

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Mass. Considers Changing State Name To Boston, Since Everyone Says They’re From There Anyways

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A Touching Father’s Day: New England Dad Tells Son He’s Less Of A Disappointment Than Celtics Losing Finals

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Worcester Crowned The ‘Is Pepsi Okay?’ City Of Massachusetts

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We Asked Brookline Residents If They’re Excited To Host The US Open And They Told Us To Get Off Their Grass

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  • Susan Collins: ‘I’m Just As Shocked As You Are!’ June 24, 2022
  • A Touching Father’s Day: New England Dad Tells Son He’s Less Of A Disappointment Than Celtics Losing Finals June 19, 2022
  • Worcester Crowned The ‘Is Pepsi Okay?’ City Of Massachusetts June 16, 2022
  • We Asked Brookline Residents If They’re Excited To Host The US Open And They Told Us To Get Off Their Grass June 15, 2022

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