The Boston Accent

Wicked Serious Satire

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Wu Train Only Viable Transit Line In City Of Boston

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With the mayoral election quickly approaching and transportation remaining a hot button issue, many Boston residents have aptly noted that the Wu Train is currently the only working transit line in the city. “After reviewing Michelle Wu’s platform during my daily hour-long MBTA delays, I’ve come to realize I support her stance on just about everything,” said Dorchester … [Read more...] about Wu Train Only Viable Transit Line In City Of Boston

Suffolk University Tour Guide Tries His Hardest Not To Let Visitors Catch Glimpse Of Other Better Schools

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“It’s really hard to keep a group focused on our school when there are like 10 other better ones that are visible at any given time on our tour,” sighed exasperated Suffolk tour guide Andrew Fields. “One wrong turn and ‘Boom!’ They see Emerson. Or we accidentally walk by Tufts medical school without me even realizing it. Not to mention most of the time our tour attendees took … [Read more...] about Suffolk University Tour Guide Tries His Hardest Not To Let Visitors Catch Glimpse Of Other Better Schools

Bostonians Panic Over Lack Of Equivocating White Men In Mayoral Election

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BOSTON—Recent polling results suggest that citizens of Boston are increasingly worried about the startling lack of blah, noncommittal white men running for mayor in this year’s election. In a historic first for the city, the mayoral race includes approximately zero confused-looking middle-aged white dudes spouting nonsense and palaver. Reports suggest many voters are … [Read more...] about Bostonians Panic Over Lack Of Equivocating White Men In Mayoral Election

Gov. Baker Announces Boston’s Nonexistent Nightlife Can Finally Reopen

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BOSTON—Slowly pumping his fist behind the podium, Governor Charlie Baker announced that Boston’s virtually nonexistent nightlife could finally reopen this weekend.  “Over the past year, the late-night social scene of our capital city has been stunted by the pandemic. I’m excited to usher in a return to normalcy by opening all clubs and bars back to their former glory of … [Read more...] about Gov. Baker Announces Boston’s Nonexistent Nightlife Can Finally Reopen