The Boston Accent

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Celtics

Celtics Fan Who Just Spilt Entire Beer On His Toddler Can’t Believe Son Had To Witness Kyrie Irving’s Middle Finger

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“What Kyrie did was inexcusable and my son Jameson will never recover from it,” said the fan outside T.D. Garden, holding his soaking wet child in one hand and smoking a Marlboro with his other. “Trashy behavior from a trashy human being.” … [Read more...] about Celtics Fan Who Just Spilt Entire Beer On His Toddler Can’t Believe Son Had To Witness Kyrie Irving’s Middle Finger

Charlie Baker Announces He’s Quitting Politics To Try Out For Celtics

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In a surprise conference today, 6’6 Charlie Baker revealed he will not seek re-election as Governor of Massachusetts and will instead pursue his lifelong dream of playing basketball on his beloved Boston Celtics. “This politics thing was fun while it lasted, but truthfully, it’s not my passion. Ball is life, and it’s time I finally pursue my real dreams—I used to play for … [Read more...] about Charlie Baker Announces He’s Quitting Politics To Try Out For Celtics

‘I Bleed Green!’ Says Celtics Fan With Pretty Serious Medical Condition

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Medical experts were baffled on Wednesday after local Celtics fan Brad Barry arrived at the ER literally bleeding green. “Tonight’s the first night of the season and I’m stuck at Mass General for some nothing nosebleed, this is total BS,” said Barry, dripping viridian blood all over his Marcus Smart jersey. “These brainiac doctors think I’m sick, but I keep telling them … [Read more...] about ‘I Bleed Green!’ Says Celtics Fan With Pretty Serious Medical Condition

Facing Federal Fraud Charges, Glen ‘Big Baby’ Davis Asks Court To Try Him As A Juvenile

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The professional basketball world was stunned last week when federal prosecutors unveiled sweeping fraud charges in a massive case against 18 former NBA players, including 17 grownups plus former Celtic Glen “Big Baby” Davis. “These are serious adult accusations that require special considerations when someone as childish as my client is alleged to be involved,” said … [Read more...] about Facing Federal Fraud Charges, Glen ‘Big Baby’ Davis Asks Court To Try Him As A Juvenile