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The Boston Accent

The Boston Accent

Wicked Serious Satire

Celtics

Boston Fans Prep For Back-To-Back Game 7s By Sacrificing A Referee To The Ghost Of Sam Adams

May 14, 2022 by Andrew Haskell

It has to be done. … [Read more...] about Boston Fans Prep For Back-To-Back Game 7s By Sacrificing A Referee To The Ghost Of Sam Adams

Celtics Fan Who Just Spilt Entire Beer On His Toddler Can’t Believe Son Had To Witness Kyrie Irving’s Middle Finger

April 18, 2022 by The Boston Accent

“What Kyrie did was inexcusable and my son Jameson will never recover from it,” said the fan outside T.D. Garden, holding his soaking wet child in one hand and smoking a Marlboro with his other. “Trashy behavior from a trashy human being.” … [Read more...] about Celtics Fan Who Just Spilt Entire Beer On His Toddler Can’t Believe Son Had To Witness Kyrie Irving’s Middle Finger

Charlie Baker Announces He’s Quitting Politics To Try Out For Celtics

December 1, 2021 by The Boston Accent

In a surprise conference today, 6’6 Charlie Baker revealed he will not seek re-election as Governor of Massachusetts and will instead pursue his lifelong dream of playing basketball on his beloved Boston Celtics. “This politics thing was fun while it lasted, but truthfully, it’s not my passion. Ball is life, and it’s time I finally pursue my real dreams—I used to play for … [Read more...] about Charlie Baker Announces He’s Quitting Politics To Try Out For Celtics

‘I Bleed Green!’ Says Celtics Fan With Pretty Serious Medical Condition

October 20, 2021 by Kevin Kelliher

Medical experts were baffled on Wednesday after local Celtics fan Brad Barry arrived at the ER literally bleeding green. “Tonight’s the first night of the season and I’m stuck at Mass General for some nothing nosebleed, this is total BS,” said Barry, dripping viridian blood all over his Marcus Smart jersey. “These brainiac doctors think I’m sick, but I keep telling them … [Read more...] about ‘I Bleed Green!’ Says Celtics Fan With Pretty Serious Medical Condition

Facing Federal Fraud Charges, Glen ‘Big Baby’ Davis Asks Court To Try Him As A Juvenile

October 10, 2021 by Tony Morse

The professional basketball world was stunned last week when federal prosecutors unveiled sweeping fraud charges in a massive case against 18 former NBA players, including 17 grownups plus former Celtic Glen “Big Baby” Davis. “These are serious adult accusations that require special considerations when someone as childish as my client is alleged to be involved,” said … [Read more...] about Facing Federal Fraud Charges, Glen ‘Big Baby’ Davis Asks Court To Try Him As A Juvenile

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The Latest

Mass. Considers Changing State Name To Boston, Since Everyone Says They’re From There Anyways

July 22, 2020

Boston Fans Prep For Back-To-Back Game 7s By Sacrificing A Referee To The Ghost Of Sam Adams

May 14, 2022

Local Man Giving Directions Only Tells You Where Location Isn’t

May 14, 2022

With Massachusetts Legalizing Sports Betting, Rhode Island Economy Now Exclusively Based On Pizza Strips

May 1, 2022

Sports

Family Decides Not To Ask Grandpa To Elaborate When He Says ‘I Wish There Were More Players Like Larry Bird These Days’

April 2, 2022

College

Brave Harvard Student Steps Out In Public Not Wearing Single Item Of Harvard Branded Clothing

April 5, 2022

National

Maine Holding On To ‘Vacationland’ Title As If The Caribbean Doesn’t Exist

May 17, 2022

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Recent

  • Maine Holding On To ‘Vacationland’ Title As If The Caribbean Doesn’t Exist May 17, 2022
  • Boston Fans Prep For Back-To-Back Game 7s By Sacrificing A Referee To The Ghost Of Sam Adams May 14, 2022
  • Local Man Giving Directions Only Tells You Where Location Isn’t May 14, 2022
  • With Massachusetts Legalizing Sports Betting, Rhode Island Economy Now Exclusively Based On Pizza Strips May 1, 2022

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