“My favorite part of Rosh Hashana, and honestly the only part I still do, is the tashlich ceremony, where we ritually cast away sins in the form of bread into a nearby body of water,” said local resident Joseph Klein. The ducks who eat the bread have no idea that they are symbolically consuming my worst misdeeds of the part year. Or maybe they do and just love the taste of sin. … [Read more...] about Jewish Person Feeds Entire Year’s Worth Of Sins To Unsuspecting Ducks
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Nation On Edge As Cases Of First Wordle Loss Rise Dramatically
“I never thought this would happen to me, I always played it safe and was extra careful,” said 32-year-old Priya, who asked we do not share her last name due to overwhelming shame. “I was about to hit a streak of 50 days in a row and then the New York Times took over. Now it feels like my life is basically over.” All across the country, health departments are reporting an … [Read more...] about Nation On Edge As Cases Of First Wordle Loss Rise Dramatically
Man Who Didn’t Cry At Own Father’s Funeral Posts Teary-Eyed Tribute About Tom Brady Retiring
“Brady was like a father to me, even though I’m 10 years older than him,” said Medford resident Louie Palanzo in a tear-filled Facebook live video stream. “He was always there for me, through the thick and thin, every season. After my old man kicked the bucket, I cheered myself up watching the Pats at the wake. His retirement is without a doubt the saddest moment of my entire … [Read more...] about Man Who Didn’t Cry At Own Father’s Funeral Posts Teary-Eyed Tribute About Tom Brady Retiring
Belichick Promises To Resume Cheating In 2022 For Sake Of Patriots Fans
In an announcement sure to appease hurting Pats fans everywhere, Bill Belichick told reporters today that next season, the team will “most likely” bring back cheating to avoid another heartbreak season. “Suffering through a 47-17 loss to the Buffalo Bills can have a devastating impact on the mental and physical health of our fan base,” Belichick said. “You know me, I’m … [Read more...] about Belichick Promises To Resume Cheating In 2022 For Sake Of Patriots Fans
How To Tell It’s Winter In New England
New Englanders get to experience all four seasons, whether we like it or not. Sure, all states technically have a winter, but let’s be real: 65 degree evenings and slightly fewer alligator attacks don’t count (Cough…Florida…cough). Here are seven surefire ways you can tell a New England winter has officially arrived, without looking at the thermometer. One of the teens at … [Read more...] about How To Tell It’s Winter In New England