Patriots Coach Bill Belichick has denied the Medal of Freedom offered by President Trump, but, according to reports today, Mark Wahlberg has already put himself out there as a possible alternative recipient. "Look I'm not saying that it should have been me," said Wahlberg, appearing angry as if he had been personally insulted. "I'm just saying that, if it were me, I … [Read more...] about Mark Wahlberg Begs To Get Medal Of Freedom In Belichick’s Place
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Gordon Hayward Abandons Any Shot At Future Championship For Chance To Live In A Red State
This week, Gordon Hayward committed to a massive four-year, $120 million contract with the Charlotte Hornets, tossing away any hope of a ring in the foreseeable future. Still, the humongous payout is second in importance to Gordon, who says he's just happy to fulfill his dream of moving back to Trump's America. "Boston was nice I guess, but I really won't miss it," admitted … [Read more...] about Gordon Hayward Abandons Any Shot At Future Championship For Chance To Live In A Red State
Bill Belichick Refuses To Concede Last Week’s Loss To Buffalo Bills
Patriots coach Bill Belichick announced today that he continues to dispute the official results of last Sunday’s matchup with the Buffalo Bills. Belichick made the statement during a press conference with reporters from the Boston Herald this morning, held in the parking lot out front of the big Home Depot in Somerville, next to I-93. “These are just preliminary results,” a … [Read more...] about Bill Belichick Refuses To Concede Last Week’s Loss To Buffalo Bills
Scalpers Spotted Outside Fenway Park Selling Ballots For Half Price
After early voting started this week at Fenway Park, scalpers were spotted outside the historic stadium selling discount ballots to Boston voters. “I got one for Biden, two for Trump, and twelve for Jo Jorgensen,” said scalper Dave O’Connor, displaying a jacket pocket full of crumbled up ballots. “Lowest I’ll go is $50, these are selling for at least double … [Read more...] about Scalpers Spotted Outside Fenway Park Selling Ballots For Half Price
Now That Summer’s Over, Man Realizes Friend With Boat Actually Kind Of A Dick
With warm weather behind us, Fred Smith of Harwich is in hot water, as his friends have started to remember he’s actually a total tool. “Now that it’s too cold for him to take us out on his boat every weekend, I’m honestly not sure what he’s bringing to the friend group,” says Andrew Grant, a seasonal buddy of Smith’s. “All he ever talks about is his high school hockey … [Read more...] about Now That Summer’s Over, Man Realizes Friend With Boat Actually Kind Of A Dick