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The Boston Accent

The Boston Accent

New England’s Source For Wicked Serious News

boston sports

Bruins In Spectacular Position To Disappoint Fans In Playoffs

March 5, 2023 by Joel Papp Leave a Comment

“We’ve worked so hard this year—and it would be a shame if we finished the job and won the Stanley Cup,” said head coach Jim Montgomery. “We would love to maintain that recent Boston sports excellence of getting so close to a championship but squandering it right at the finish line. With great seasons come great disappointments, and I think we’re in a perfect position for … [Read more...] about Bruins In Spectacular Position To Disappoint Fans In Playoffs

How To Tell Your Father You Love Him Via Boston Sports Headlines

March 20, 2022 by Matt McInerney

Real talk is hard. All of the eye contact and opening up—wouldn't it be easier to shoot the shit about inconsequential sports news while you watch the game together? That’s why we're here to help. Do you have some important things you've been waiting to say to your father figure but you're just not great at expressing yourself? Here’s how to tell your dad you love him and … [Read more...] about How To Tell Your Father You Love Him Via Boston Sports Headlines

‘I Bleed Green!’ Says Celtics Fan With Pretty Serious Medical Condition

October 20, 2021 by Kevin Kelliher

Medical experts were baffled on Wednesday after local Celtics fan Brad Barry arrived at the ER literally bleeding green. “Tonight’s the first night of the season and I’m stuck at Mass General for some nothing nosebleed, this is total BS,” said Barry, dripping viridian blood all over his Marcus Smart jersey. “These brainiac doctors think I’m sick, but I keep telling them … [Read more...] about ‘I Bleed Green!’ Says Celtics Fan With Pretty Serious Medical Condition

Marcus Smart Spotted Dumping Dead Hopes And Dreams Of Raptors Into Charles River

September 12, 2020 by The Boston Accent

The star Celtics player, whose crucial block late in the fourth quarter murdered any chance of a Toronto championship repeat, said it was an honor to dispose of the Raptors remains into Boston's largest trash repository. … [Read more...] about Marcus Smart Spotted Dumping Dead Hopes And Dreams Of Raptors Into Charles River

Heartbreaking: Celtics Reluctantly Confirm Mascot Lucky The Leprechaun Is An Anti-Vaxxer

July 27, 2020 by Ben Loftus Leave a Comment

“We regret to inform our Boston sports fans that Lucky is, indeed, canonically opposed to all vaccinations,” announced Celtics GM Danny Ainge, confirming the rumor floating around Twitter this week. “When the mascot was created more than 50 years ago, everyone hated all immunizations—especially Bostonians. It was a different time and Lucky reflects that. Ainge quietly added … [Read more...] about Heartbreaking: Celtics Reluctantly Confirm Mascot Lucky The Leprechaun Is An Anti-Vaxxer

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Boston McDonald’s Permanently Closes After Deal Offering Free Shamrock Shake To Any Resident With Shamrock Tattoo Backfires

March 15, 2023

All State Universities To Close After Gov. Healey Bets Education Funding On Red Sox Spring Training Parlay

March 11, 2023

I Can’t Believe This Server Offered Me A Dripping Hot 3-Way My First Time In The North Shore!

March 9, 2023

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Tom Brady Suffers Early Exit From NFL Playoffs, By Far The Worst Thing To Happen To Him In Past Year

January 18, 2023

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‘I Go To School In Boston,’ Says Vague BU Student Who Wants Strangers From Hometown To Think They Go To Harvard

January 5, 2023

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MBTA Train Left In The Dust By 5-Year-Old On Tricycle

March 21, 2023

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The Boston Accent is New England’s best source of wicked serious news.

We publish satire (so don’t sue us) that might make you spit out your Dunkin’ and Boston cream donut all over Harvard Yard.

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Recent

  • MBTA Train Left In The Dust By 5-Year-Old On Tricycle March 21, 2023
  • Boston McDonald’s Permanently Closes After Deal Offering Free Shamrock Shake To Any Resident With Shamrock Tattoo Backfires March 15, 2023
  • All State Universities To Close After Gov. Healey Bets Education Funding On Red Sox Spring Training Parlay March 11, 2023
  • I Can’t Believe This Server Offered Me A Dripping Hot 3-Way My First Time In The North Shore! March 9, 2023

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