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The Boston Accent

The Boston Accent

Wicked Serious Satire

Matt McInerney

Local Man Giving Directions Only Tells You Where Location Isn’t

May 14, 2022 by Matt McInerney

SEEKONK, Mass. — Donnie Kelley has been giving directions around these parts for years but, according to sources, never actually tells you where to go. One unlucky family recently had to learn the hard way. "Oh, so you're trying to get to the Shaws across the bridge from here, huh? Sure, I can help you get there. So what you're gonna wanna do is head down this street and … [Read more...] about Local Man Giving Directions Only Tells You Where Location Isn’t

With Massachusetts Legalizing Sports Betting, Rhode Island Economy Now Exclusively Based On Pizza Strips

May 1, 2022 by Matt McInerney

“I am proud to say that we believe this bill will become a model for responsible sports wagering in this country,” said Senate Ways and Means Chairman Michael Rodrigues. “It will also totally screw over Rhode Island, which has been a long-term goal of ours. And they really do deserve it for trying to remove the best part of a pizza and thinking they can get away with it.” … [Read more...] about With Massachusetts Legalizing Sports Betting, Rhode Island Economy Now Exclusively Based On Pizza Strips

Rising Tuition Has Local Parents Wondering: Maybe My Teen Should Try The Smart Janitor Route Into College

March 30, 2022 by Matt McInerney

MEDFIELD, MA — Local parents Wilson and Laila Ryerson have been watching college tuition rise exponentially for years. They’re now starting to wonder if maybe their teenager would be open an alternate path into elite institutions. “So I'm looking at our college savings account and realized we've only got a couple more years to save and a long way to go. So I decided to start … [Read more...] about Rising Tuition Has Local Parents Wondering: Maybe My Teen Should Try The Smart Janitor Route Into College

How To Tell Your Father You Love Him Via Boston Sports Headlines

March 20, 2022 by Matt McInerney

Real talk is hard. All of the eye contact and opening up—wouldn't it be easier to shoot the shit about inconsequential sports news while you watch the game together? That’s why we're here to help. Do you have some important things you've been waiting to say to your father figure but you're just not great at expressing yourself? Here’s how to tell your dad you love him and … [Read more...] about How To Tell Your Father You Love Him Via Boston Sports Headlines

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The Latest

Mass. Considers Changing State Name To Boston, Since Everyone Says They’re From There Anyways

July 22, 2020

Boston Fans Prep For Back-To-Back Game 7s By Sacrificing A Referee To The Ghost Of Sam Adams

May 14, 2022

Local Man Giving Directions Only Tells You Where Location Isn’t

May 14, 2022

With Massachusetts Legalizing Sports Betting, Rhode Island Economy Now Exclusively Based On Pizza Strips

May 1, 2022

Sports

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April 18, 2022

College

Brave Harvard Student Steps Out In Public Not Wearing Single Item Of Harvard Branded Clothing

April 5, 2022

National

Maine Holding On To ‘Vacationland’ Title As If The Caribbean Doesn’t Exist

May 17, 2022

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The Boston Accent is New England’s best source of wicked serious news.

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Recent

  • Maine Holding On To ‘Vacationland’ Title As If The Caribbean Doesn’t Exist May 17, 2022
  • Boston Fans Prep For Back-To-Back Game 7s By Sacrificing A Referee To The Ghost Of Sam Adams May 14, 2022
  • Local Man Giving Directions Only Tells You Where Location Isn’t May 14, 2022
  • With Massachusetts Legalizing Sports Betting, Rhode Island Economy Now Exclusively Based On Pizza Strips May 1, 2022

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