“We regret to inform our Boston sports fans that Lucky is, indeed, canonically opposed to all vaccinations,” announced Celtics GM Danny Ainge, confirming the rumor floating around Twitter this week.
“When the mascot was created more than 50 years ago, everyone hated all immunizations—especially Bostonians. It was a different time and Lucky reflects that. Ainge quietly added that the full name of the mascot is actually Lucky the “let’s not vaccinate” Leprechaun.
“However, our mascot’s views absolutely do not reflect those of the Celtics organization, players, or management. We love vaccines, and hope all Boston sports fans get vaccinated all the time.
At press time, Ainge told reporters the Celtics will never replace Lucky, but may consider making a small donation to the Gates Foundation in the future.
Headline by contributor Ben Loftus. Check out Ben on Instagram @dietbenloftus