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The Boston Accent

The Boston Accent

New England’s Source For Wicked Serious News

Sports

Scalpers Spotted Outside Fenway Park Selling Ballots For Half Price

October 18, 2020 by Jack Stebbins

After early voting started this week at Fenway Park, scalpers were spotted outside the historic stadium selling discount ballots to Boston voters.  “I got one for Biden, two for Trump, and twelve for Jo Jorgensen,” said scalper Dave O’Connor, displaying a jacket pocket full of crumbled up ballots. “Lowest I’ll go is $50, these are selling for at least double … [Read more...] about Scalpers Spotted Outside Fenway Park Selling Ballots For Half Price

‘I Bleed Green!’ Says Celtics Fan With Pretty Serious Medical Condition

September 25, 2020 by Kevin Kelliher

Medical experts were baffled on Wednesday after local Celtics fan Brad Barry arrived at the ER literally bleeding green. Barry, a self-proclaimed “wicked big Celtics fan,” appeared to have cut his face after trying to drink from a broken bottle of Sam Adams following the Celtics’ tragic loss earlier in the evening. “These brainiac doctors think I’m sick , but I keep … [Read more...] about ‘I Bleed Green!’ Says Celtics Fan With Pretty Serious Medical Condition

Belichick Shocks Pats Fans With New Sweatshirt-less Sleeves

September 13, 2020 by Jack Stebbins

Patriots Head Coach Bill Belichick shocked fans and fashion-enthusiasts alike on Sunday when he revealed his new look: sweatshirt-less sleeves, a bold departure from his usual sleeveless sweatshirt. “I always wondered what he did with those sleeves he cut off,” said Bart Wodder, a Patriots fan, and an avid gray sweatshirt wearer. “This is not what I expected. I guess … [Read more...] about Belichick Shocks Pats Fans With New Sweatshirt-less Sleeves

Marcus Smart Spotted Dumping Dead Hopes And Dreams Of Raptors Into Charles River

September 12, 2020 by The Boston Accent

The star Celtics player, whose crucial block late in the fourth quarter murdered any chance of a Toronto championship repeat, said it was an honor to dispose of the Raptors remains into Boston's largest trash repository. … [Read more...] about Marcus Smart Spotted Dumping Dead Hopes And Dreams Of Raptors Into Charles River

Local Uncle Convinced Ghislaine Maxwell Is Tom Brady’s Wife, Refuses To Google It

August 23, 2020 by Michael Tobin

“I don’t care what people are saying about her, that woman came all the way from Brazil to support Brady through 4 Super Bowl wins,” said your woefully misinformed uncle. “And more importantly, she’s an absolute smokeshow. You know she modeled for Victoria’s Secret, right?” Written by contributor Michael Tobin. Check out Michael on Instagram and Twitter … [Read more...] about Local Uncle Convinced Ghislaine Maxwell Is Tom Brady’s Wife, Refuses To Google It

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  • Honoring A Legend: Eliot Tatelman’s Ponytail To Hang In Rafters Of Jordan’s Furniture Following Retirement April 27, 2025
  • Red Sox Reveal Rafael Devers Has Been Using New Donut Shaped Bat April 2, 2025
  • American Government Defends Constitution By Abducting Individuals Exercising First Amendment March 28, 2025
  • Very Real Saint Patrick’s Day Events Across Boston March 14, 2025

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