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The Boston Accent

The Boston Accent

New England’s Source For Wicked Serious News

National News

Defunded Boston PD Forced To Cut Mark Wahlberg, Leonardo DiCaprio From Payroll

August 7, 2020 by Jack Stebbins

The Boston Police Department announced Friday that due to budget cuts, they will be forced to lay off actors Mark Wahlberg and Leonardo Dicaprio from their payroll.  “Recent calls for police reform have put pressure on the department to make difficult funding decisions,” said Chief of Police Mike O’Connor in a press conference. “ We hate to do it, but we have to let … [Read more...] about Defunded Boston PD Forced To Cut Mark Wahlberg, Leonardo DiCaprio From Payroll

Biden Campaign Office Installs Cushions On All Desks To Protect Staffer Foreheads

August 6, 2020 by The Boston Accent

“Our patent-pending Biden Gaffe Cushions® help soften the blow to our staff’s heads as they smash repeatedly against hard surfaces whenever Joe opens his mouth,” said a campaign representative. “We are also trialing cushions for their palms. We hope to sell both of these lifesaving products on our website very soon, so that disappointed Democrats everywhere can enjoy them!” … [Read more...] about Biden Campaign Office Installs Cushions On All Desks To Protect Staffer Foreheads

Joe Kennedy Reveals New Campaign Strategy: Say “Kennedy” As Often As Possible

August 4, 2020 by Jack Stebbins

During last week's debate with incumbent Ed Markey, Joe Kennedy III leaned into his newest and, frankly, best campaign strategy: repeating his prestigious name as many times as humanly possible. The Senate-hopeful, who is the grandson of Robert F. Kennedy, reminded the audience of that fact at least two dozen times. Each mention of RFK generated eardrum-shattering amounts of … [Read more...] about Joe Kennedy Reveals New Campaign Strategy: Say “Kennedy” As Often As Possible

Cosmo Declares Mask Tan Lines The Sexiest Trend Of Summer 2020

August 3, 2020 by The Boston Accent

“Staying safe is sexy AF,” wrote Cosmo editor Lilac Evergreen, who ranked mask tan lines just above turquoise latex gloves. “Everyone will be staring, I promise you that.” … [Read more...] about Cosmo Declares Mask Tan Lines The Sexiest Trend Of Summer 2020

Trump Tells Americans Skeptical Of His Mental State That He Once Finished Entire I Spy Book

August 1, 2020 by The Boston Accent

"It was very hard—some people say the hardest—because the pictures have so much going on! It's crazy how much they have going on. You really gotta be a genius to finish one, and I did it,” said the president, grinning with pride.“The fake news media will say I didn’t, but I did.” … [Read more...] about Trump Tells Americans Skeptical Of His Mental State That He Once Finished Entire I Spy Book

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  • Making History: First Ever Non-Tourist Steps Foot In Quincy Market August 5, 2025
  • Suffolk University Brand Recognition Skyrockets After Renaming Themselves ‘Temu Emerson’ July 22, 2025
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