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The Boston Accent

The Boston Accent

New England’s Source For Wicked Serious News

National News

Universal Studios Announces “16 Candles” Reboot About Celebrating Hanukkah With Divorced Parents

December 10, 2020 by Jack Stebbins

It’s a holiday miracle! Universal Studios has announced a reboot of the 80’s classic “Sixteen Candles”. But this time, the coming-of-age film will follow a young Jewish girl as she endures the eight nights of Hanukkah with her recently divorced parents. Lighting one menorah over and over and over is already exhausting--just imagine doing it all twice, with parents who hate each … [Read more...] about Universal Studios Announces “16 Candles” Reboot About Celebrating Hanukkah With Divorced Parents

Anti-Masker Decides This The Hill He, His Grandparents, And Dozens Of Strangers With Compromised Immune Systems Will Die On

December 4, 2020 by Kevin Kelliher

“Wearing a mask is an individual choice that I am willing to sacrifice my life for,” added the man, who will also inadvertently be sacrificing the lives of countless others with his misguided patriotism. “I’m brave like that.” … [Read more...] about Anti-Masker Decides This The Hill He, His Grandparents, And Dozens Of Strangers With Compromised Immune Systems Will Die On

Shop Local! I Bought My Amazon Gift Cards At This Adorable Mom And Pop Shop

November 30, 2020 by Jack Stebbins

If you care about small businesses like I do, please do your Amazon gift card shopping at local establishments. They need your support now more than ever! You can even use the gift cards to buy items online for cheaper than the shop sells them in the store. Win win! … [Read more...] about Shop Local! I Bought My Amazon Gift Cards At This Adorable Mom And Pop Shop

Melania Bastes White House Turkey With Remdesivir To Cure Meat

November 26, 2020 by The Boston Accent

“This is a great cure, it is a miracle cure,” noted the First Lady, admiring the roasted turkey, which appeared to be squirming on the platter. “And the flavor will pair perfectly with Ivanka’s hydroxychloroquine stuffing and Don Jr.’s antibody gin cocktail.” At press time, White House chefs were busy preparing the final course: a roasted lame duck. … [Read more...] about Melania Bastes White House Turkey With Remdesivir To Cure Meat

Gordon Hayward Abandons Any Shot At Future Championship For Chance To Live In A Red State

November 23, 2020 by Ben Loftus

This week, Gordon Hayward committed to a massive four-year, $120 million contract with the Charlotte Hornets, tossing away any hope of a ring in the foreseeable future. Still, the humongous payout is second in importance to Gordon, who says he's just happy to fulfill his dream of moving back to Trump's America. "Boston was nice I guess, but I really won't miss it," admitted … [Read more...] about Gordon Hayward Abandons Any Shot At Future Championship For Chance To Live In A Red State

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  • Celtics Trade Two NBA Champions For An Unopened Labubu June 26, 2025
  • Honoring A Legend: Eliot Tatelman’s Ponytail To Hang In Rafters Of Jordan’s Furniture Following Retirement April 27, 2025
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