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The Boston Accent

The Boston Accent

New England’s Source For Wicked Serious News

College President Pounds A Forty To Unwind As Students Head Home To Become Parents’ Problem

December 11, 2020 by The Boston Accent

After spending millions on testing and contact tracing to prevent COVID spread on campuses, college presidents and administrators around the country are breathing a collective sigh of relief as they wave goodbye to the last students leaving for Winter Break.

“I hope they make good choices but frankly, I am so exhausted I could not care less,” said a local college president, swigging from a bottle of Colt 45.

“Do you know what it’s like trying to keep thousands of students expecting a 24/7 party locked up in their rooms like TV sitcom dorks? It impossible! I’m just glad they’re out of my hands for the next two months.”

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