After spending millions on testing and contact tracing to prevent COVID spread on campuses, college presidents and administrators around the country are breathing a collective sigh of relief as they wave goodbye to the last students leaving for Winter Break.
“I hope they make good choices but frankly, I am so exhausted I could not care less,” said a local college president, swigging from a bottle of Colt 45.
“Do you know what it’s like trying to keep thousands of students expecting a 24/7 party locked up in their rooms like TV sitcom dorks? It impossible! I’m just glad they’re out of my hands for the next two months.”