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Trump Just One Impeachment Away From A Free Frozen Yogurt

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WASHINGTON, D.C.—After earning his second impeachment, President Trump is now just one away from the final third punch on his Presidential Preferred Customer Card, granting him one medium-sized frozen yogurt of his choice. “Everybody said this was a deed that couldn’t be done. Too complicated. Too big. Couldn’t be done. Well, guess what? I’ve punched more holes than ANBODY … [Read more...] about Trump Just One Impeachment Away From A Free Frozen Yogurt

Wow! Labor Secretary Marty Walsh Has Already Created Dozens Of New Dunkin’ Jobs In DC

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He may have been confirmed as Labor Secretary just a week ago, but Marty Walsh is wasting no time increasing employment in his new city. Amazingly, he’s already DOUBLED the staff at the Dunkin’ closest to his DC office! “This guy must drink like 20 iced coffees a day, he’s in here every hour and always ordering complicated stuff I didn’t even know we made. I can barely keep … [Read more...] about Wow! Labor Secretary Marty Walsh Has Already Created Dozens Of New Dunkin’ Jobs In DC

Experts Agree: If It Was Going To Happen, You’d Be Famous By Now

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BOSTON—This Friday, leaders in the fields of art, writing, and photography collectively agreed that if your work was any good, you’d already be famous. According to one professor who spoke under conditions of anonymity, "It's impressive how long you’ve been committed to this one pursuit given the negligible impact you’ve made, I will say that. Maybe channel that passion into … [Read more...] about Experts Agree: If It Was Going To Happen, You’d Be Famous By Now