BOSTON—On Monday, Perfect Puppers magazine officially named local terrier Mr. Riggs the goodest boy in all of Boston. Though the competition was tough, the 14-pound terrier with a heart of solid gold beat out 235 other notable woofers, doggos, and chonky floofs across the city. By successfully completing a trifecta of flawless “stays,” “drop-its,” and “down-boys,” Mr. Riggs … [Read more...] about Local Terrier Named Goodest Boy In Boston
Trump Just One Impeachment Away From A Free Frozen Yogurt
WASHINGTON, D.C.—After earning his second impeachment, President Trump is now just one away from the final third punch on his Presidential Preferred Customer Card, granting him one medium-sized frozen yogurt of his choice. “Everybody said this was a deed that couldn’t be done. Too complicated. Too big. Couldn’t be done. Well, guess what? I’ve punched more holes than ANBODY … [Read more...] about Trump Just One Impeachment Away From A Free Frozen Yogurt
Man Who Hasn’t Washed Mask Since August Confused Where This Rash Came From
BOSTON, MA—After five consecutive months of not washing the one cloth face mask he owns, local man Dalton Fisher told reporters Thursday he has absolutely no idea why his chin, cheeks, and mouth are now covered in a constellation of grotesque pustules. “I’m telling you, it’s bizarre! Six months ago my skin was perfectly clear. Now it looks like a Little Caesars Hot-N-Ready … [Read more...] about Man Who Hasn’t Washed Mask Since August Confused Where This Rash Came From