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The Boston Accent

The Boston Accent

Wicked Serious Satire

Lauren Levine

Local Terrier Named Goodest Boy In Boston

August 9, 2021 by Lauren Levine

BOSTON—On Monday, Perfect Puppers magazine officially named local terrier Mr. Riggs the goodest boy in all of Boston. Though the competition was tough, the 14-pound terrier with a heart of solid gold beat out 235 other notable woofers, doggos, and chonky floofs across the city. By successfully completing a trifecta of flawless “stays,” “drop-its,” and “down-boys,” Mr. Riggs … [Read more...] about Local Terrier Named Goodest Boy In Boston

Trump Just One Impeachment Away From A Free Frozen Yogurt

April 29, 2021 by Lauren Levine

WASHINGTON, D.C.—After earning his second impeachment, President Trump is now just one away from the final third punch on his Presidential Preferred Customer Card, granting him one medium-sized frozen yogurt of his choice. “Everybody said this was a deed that couldn’t be done. Too complicated. Too big. Couldn’t be done. Well, guess what? I’ve punched more holes than ANBODY … [Read more...] about Trump Just One Impeachment Away From A Free Frozen Yogurt

Man Who Hasn’t Washed Mask Since August Confused Where This Rash Came From

January 10, 2021 by Lauren Levine

BOSTON, MA—After five consecutive months of not washing the one cloth face mask he owns, local man Dalton Fisher told reporters Thursday he has absolutely no idea why his chin, cheeks, and mouth are now covered in a constellation of grotesque pustules. “I’m telling you, it’s bizarre! Six months ago my skin was perfectly clear. Now it looks like a Little Caesars Hot-N-Ready … [Read more...] about Man Who Hasn’t Washed Mask Since August Confused Where This Rash Came From

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The Latest

Mass. Considers Changing State Name To Boston, Since Everyone Says They’re From There Anyways

July 22, 2020

A Touching Father’s Day: New England Dad Tells Son He’s Less Of A Disappointment Than Celtics Losing Finals

June 19, 2022

Worcester Crowned The ‘Is Pepsi Okay?’ City Of Massachusetts

June 16, 2022

We Asked Brookline Residents If They’re Excited To Host The US Open And They Told Us To Get Off Their Grass

June 15, 2022

Sports

If Klay Thompson Actually Cared About Offending Kids, He Wouldn’t Have Appeared In The New ‘Space Jam’

June 9, 2022

College

Brave Harvard Student Steps Out In Public Not Wearing Single Item Of Harvard Branded Clothing

April 5, 2022

National

Susan Collins: ‘I’m Just As Shocked As You Are!’

June 24, 2022

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Recent

  • Susan Collins: ‘I’m Just As Shocked As You Are!’ June 24, 2022
  • A Touching Father’s Day: New England Dad Tells Son He’s Less Of A Disappointment Than Celtics Losing Finals June 19, 2022
  • Worcester Crowned The ‘Is Pepsi Okay?’ City Of Massachusetts June 16, 2022
  • We Asked Brookline Residents If They’re Excited To Host The US Open And They Told Us To Get Off Their Grass June 15, 2022

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