He may have been confirmed as Labor Secretary just a week ago, but Marty Walsh is wasting no time increasing employment in his new city. Amazingly, he’s already DOUBLED the staff at the Dunkin’ closest to his DC office!
“This guy must drink like 20 iced coffees a day, he’s in here every hour and always ordering complicated stuff I didn’t even know we made. I can barely keep up,” said new employee Chez Lee, bagging Walsh’s order of 16 breakfast sausage sandwiches on croissants at 6pm. “Is everyone from Massachusetts like this?”
Analysts are also predicting a spike in employment for the DC’s baked bean and lobster roll industries, which currently employ exactly zero people.