BOSTON—Tragedy has struck as an entire team of Massachusetts Bay Transportation Authority workers were eaten alive after stumbling upon the underground nest of the band Dropkick Murphys. “We were lured into the lair by a faint sound of punk rock music. I’m pretty sure it was ‘Johnny I Hardly New Ya,’” recalled the lone survivor of the massacre. “The beat just kept … [Read more...] about MBTA Crew Devoured After Accidentally Wandering Into Underground Nest Of Dropkick Murphys
Culture
Rich Friend With Good Health Insurance Insists You Spend $200 To Throw Yourselves Down A Mountain Together
“Skiing is absolutely worth the cost, it’s a blast! Plus, we can wear helmets and masks, so it’s totally safe,” said your friend, who already owns all the equipment you have to rent and has a fully-loaded HSA. … [Read more...] about Rich Friend With Good Health Insurance Insists You Spend $200 To Throw Yourselves Down A Mountain Together
Opinion: If Bugs Bunny Is From Brooklyn, Then We Demand A Looney Tune From Everett
Bugs Bunny is a cartoon rabbit living in the woods that speaks with a Brooklyn accent. That’s fine and I have no questions about that at all. But in a world that clamors for representation in media, I think it’s about time we have an anthropomorphized animal cartoon that sounds like it’s from Everett, Massachusetts. Maybe he could be, like, a little Capybara in a puffy … [Read more...] about Opinion: If Bugs Bunny Is From Brooklyn, Then We Demand A Looney Tune From Everett
Great Molasses Flood Of 1919 Finally Reaches Downtown Boston
After an arduous 101 year journey, the carnage of the 1919 Boston Molasses Flood has traveled an entire six blocks and finally reached downtown Boston, nudging everything in its path. “This disaster has been in my family for decades. My great-grandfather was there when the tank burst,” said longtime local Dana Tyrell. “And my grandfather was there when the first molasses hit … [Read more...] about Great Molasses Flood Of 1919 Finally Reaches Downtown Boston
30-Year-Old Man Jogging In Marginally Cold Weather Pretty Sure He Could Hack It In SEAL Training
As Derrick Bryant, 30, went on his bi-weekly three mile jog today, the mild discomfort caused by the 34 degree weather assured him that, if he wanted, he could probably still enlist as a Navy SEAL, despite their age cutoff of 28 and far more rigorous training standard. “I'm sure it's tough, but hell, I could do it still, I bet. I'm in pretty good shape, and I mean, it's cold … [Read more...] about 30-Year-Old Man Jogging In Marginally Cold Weather Pretty Sure He Could Hack It In SEAL Training