• Skip to main content
  • Skip to primary sidebar
  • Skip to footer
  • Home
  • Top Stories
    • Local
    • National News
    • College
    • Sports
    • Culture
  • About
  • Contact
  • Merch
The Boston Accent

The Boston Accent

New England’s Source For Wicked Serious News

College

Help! I Went To A Crazy MIT Party And Now I’m Stuck In The Metaverse

March 12, 2022 by The Boston Accent

Please, I'm begging you…. I don't know what the hell I smoked but now I'm trapped here. It’s just empty work spaces, framed NFTs, and some nerdy looking avatars talking about made up units called smoots! … [Read more...] about Help! I Went To A Crazy MIT Party And Now I’m Stuck In The Metaverse

Brown University Drops Out Of Ivy League To Pursue Career In Photography

February 11, 2022 by The Boston Accent

In news sure to shock the stuffy world of elite academia, Brown University announced today their intention to drop out of the Ivy League and instead pursue their true passion of photography. “I’ve pretended to be something I’m not since 1764, and it’s about time I chase my real dreams—I’m not getting any younger after all,” said the centuries old institution of higher … [Read more...] about Brown University Drops Out Of Ivy League To Pursue Career In Photography

Interest In Attending University of Vermont Still Best Way To Find Out If Your Kid Smokes Weed

January 1, 2022 by The Boston Accent

Since 1791, parents have relied on their teen’s stated interest in going to UVM for college as a proxy to tell if they smoke weed. A new study has confirmed that in 2021, an application to UVM was more predictive that your kid blows mad tree than any other factor, including them saying “I literally smoke weed all the time.” “When my little Tommy told us he heard … [Read more...] about Interest In Attending University of Vermont Still Best Way To Find Out If Your Kid Smokes Weed

Full Circle: Colleges Nationwide Now Offering Degrees In Student Loan Enforcement

December 14, 2021 by The Boston Accent

BRIDGEWATER, MA — Kim Hobbs couldn’t believe her luck as a returning Bridgewater State University sophomore when she was given the chance to switch her major to BSU’s new Student Debt Enforcement program, the fastest growing degree across student-debt-addled America. “I used to be a criminal justice major, pre-law minor, but when I realized that law school would require … [Read more...] about Full Circle: Colleges Nationwide Now Offering Degrees In Student Loan Enforcement

High School Senior Excited To Tour Harvard, MIT, 34 Boston Area Safety Schools

November 8, 2021 by The Boston Accent

“There are so many great schools in and around Boston that I would love to end up at,” said local salutatorian Renee Gomez. “Harvard, MIT, the other ones, they’re all really good options that I’m fully considering equally! School fit matters more than anything else, if you ask me.” At press time, Gomez was seen skipping her scheduled tour of Bentley University while posing … [Read more...] about High School Senior Excited To Tour Harvard, MIT, 34 Boston Area Safety Schools

« Previous Page
Next Page »

Primary Sidebar

Follow Us

  • Facebook
  • Instagram
  • Twitter

The Latest

Celtics Trade Two NBA Champions For An Unopened Labubu

June 26, 2025

Honoring A Legend: Eliot Tatelman’s Ponytail To Hang In Rafters Of Jordan’s Furniture Following Retirement

April 27, 2025

Red Sox Reveal Rafael Devers Has Been Using New Donut Shaped Bat

April 2, 2025

Sports

Shelf Life Of Mayo Shorter Than Expected

January 5, 2025

College

Suffolk University Brand Recognition Skyrockets After Renaming Themselves ‘Temu Emerson’

July 22, 2025

National

American Government Defends Constitution By Abducting Individuals Exercising First Amendment

March 28, 2025

Footer

About Us

The Boston Accent is New England’s best source of wicked serious news.

We publish satire (so don’t sue us) that might make you spit out your Dunkin’ and Boston cream donut all over Harvard Yard.

Want to pitch us? Send 5-10 headlines and a short bio here. New England centric pitches preferred, but open to all (funny) content!

Recent

  • Suffolk University Brand Recognition Skyrockets After Renaming Themselves ‘Temu Emerson’ July 22, 2025
  • Celtics Trade Two NBA Champions For An Unopened Labubu June 26, 2025
  • Honoring A Legend: Eliot Tatelman’s Ponytail To Hang In Rafters Of Jordan’s Furniture Following Retirement April 27, 2025
  • Red Sox Reveal Rafael Devers Has Been Using New Donut Shaped Bat April 2, 2025

Search

Follow Us!

  • Instagram
  • Facebook
  • Twitter

Copyright © 2025 The Boston Accent · Satire for the Massholes

 

Loading Comments...