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The Boston Accent

The Boston Accent

Wicked Serious Satire

College

U-Haul Unveils New Line Of Convertible Moving Trucks For Storrow Drive

August 11, 2020 by Will Vaillancourt

In anticipation of the September 1st moving day that plagues Boston each year, U-Haul announced it will introduce convertible moving trucks designed for use along Storrow Drive.  “Trucks get stuck under the overpasses on Storrow every year, no matter how many warnings the city puts up,” said Director of Vehicle Design and Aerodynamics Hubert “Hugh” Hall at a press … [Read more...] about U-Haul Unveils New Line Of Convertible Moving Trucks For Storrow Drive

BREAKING: Bentley University Still Exists

August 3, 2020 by The Boston Accent

In news that no one saw coming, Bentley University announced on Thursday that it somehow still exists. “We’re just as surprised as everyone else,” said Bentley’s dean of students, who admits she fully expected the school to go under by now. “I’ve been applying to jobs since March, just in case.” A Bentley university student told us he didn’t realize the school was … [Read more...] about BREAKING: Bentley University Still Exists

Northeastern Student Finally Finishes 10-Year-Long Co-op

July 29, 2020 by The Boston Accent

“I wanted to take my time and make sure I did the co-op thing right. Experiential learning is all about experiencing, y’know?” The 31-year-old , who was laid off from his decade long unpaid internship due to the coronavirus pandemic, says he’s excited to graduate into a recession just like his classmates did in 2010. … [Read more...] about Northeastern Student Finally Finishes 10-Year-Long Co-op

Harsh! Harvard Reject Sentenced To Four Years At Tufts

July 29, 2020 by The Boston Accent

“I was really hoping for a lighter sentence, maybe at an upstate institution like Cornell,” said Jason Delano, whose only crime was getting a 3 on his AP chemistry exam. “Hopefully they will let me out early for good behavior.” … [Read more...] about Harsh! Harvard Reject Sentenced To Four Years At Tufts

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  • Bernie Sanders Entirely Unaware Of Meme Status Because His Jitterbug Flip Phone Has No Internet In Vermont January 21, 2021
  • Rich Friend With Good Health Insurance Insists You Spend $200 To Throw Yourselves Down A Mountain Together January 19, 2021
  • Opinion: If Bugs Bunny Is From Brooklyn, Then We Demand A Looney Tune From Everett January 17, 2021
  • Great Molasses Flood Of 1919 Finally Reaches Downtown Boston January 16, 2021

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